Love is a murder! Finally i give it up, i cant defeat my fate.might be is fate lead me in the way that i should go? Here is only way i can go is commint suicide .Im so lost and the voice inside my head keep saying that off myself is the only way keep me safe from harm,then i can rest in peace forever.Love is sooooo fuck up!After 10 years to dating by diferent people. None of them took me serious.them r cheated on me. I always the second choice even less. They just wanna play love game wiz me.whatever i do that all wrong. No one never love me back.i always screw up!”Love is patient, love is kind“correct?My friends told me God will bring right guy for me, just waiting. This is really bullshit .I tried to be the best i can be. tried to date wiz different people. tried every possible way. Still cant find the right one ?What is my conclusion right now? Actually im the big mistake !They r wonderful person and “right one”for someone else. Problem is im the mistake in this world.I should not exist. My whole life is wrong!My mistakes make me who i am.I truly believe here is “love ” in this world but just not i deserve to have it. My every steps r wrong,every decision is wrong.My heart is keep bleeding every seconds. I cant stop this pain and dont wanna escape from the fact anymore.I wanna rid it off all emotion in my mind but i cant.I cant trust anyone even myself, i can go nowhere.im just too weak to live in this world,too weak to take anymore from harm.Hope death can find my peace.Goodbye
3 comments
I apologize in advance if I say anything unkind and if you don’t understand some of my points.
First of all, you as a human being, as a person are utterly unique. There’s noone that’s like you nor will there ever be. Religion and science aside, every man woman and child is utterly important. And no one in your life should be more important than you are right now. Just the fact that you take the time to write down your thoughts, to actually consider your significance in the world makes you better than everyone who’s ever mistreated you.
Fate is an idea, it’s not an inevitable path.
And don’t kill yourself. Honestly. Aside from the fact that you are a beautiful person and you can do things no one else can, 1) death will not give you peace and 2) killing yourself wil lbe letting everyone who’s mistreated you win. Every single person out there has someone who is right for them. I hate to say it because patience isn’t my strongest point but that’s really all you need to be right now. Be patient. Don’t date people, make friends and trust people. Live life, relax, don’t let anyone boos you around. And remember that every step you have taken, every single one isn’t a bad step. It’s been leading you to who you are and you are absolutely amazing.
Now don’t you dare kill yourself. I don’t know about those heartless people who’ve mistreated you but I will DEFINITELY mourn you. So please, for a random stranger if not for yourself, live life and be happy with yourself. The rest will come easily.
don’t say that. they didn’t appreciate you, so they didn’t deserve you. we all do mistakes, i’m sure you’ll choose wisely next time. 🙂
feeling the exact same way. no one understands the cross i bear. I will never have a family to call my own, i will never be a mom, a grandmom. i can’t seem to have a relationship to last more than a year, i try, i try, i try. I date, i date, i date. i am so sick of trying, of dating, of caring. Ive gone out will so many great guys, ok guys, bad guys, etc. I don’t even have a type anymore, Ive dated outside my race im so fucking fucked. they say i move to fast, to slow, get to emotional, not emotional enough, im to skinny, to fat, to quiet, to talkative, to pale, to tan, my boobs are to small, I’m a fucking size C plus, really. SCREAM !
So, Ive come to the conculsion that i missed out on a few key relationship classes that we were required to take in heaven before god sent us to earth to live out our lives. I must have fallen asleep at the how to spot a loser and run class which was right before the how to have great relationships class.