Only 10 days left until the 2 year mark. Wow. This slaps me right in the face, even though I’ve seen it coming for months now. Ah man, this month is flying and the 25th is gonna be here before i even realise and it’s gonna hit me, just like last year.
And then five days after the 25th, it’s our birthday. Oh i don’t want another birthday without my brother, he should be turning 19 wow what? I don’t want to turn 17 if he’s not here with me to turn 19.
I really don’t want to. I dont wanna ‘celebrate’ anything and people are already asking what i want for my birthday but all i would ever want and need and ask for is my brother back but they can’t give me that
They can’t they can’t they can’t
I don’t wanna exist the 25th this year and next year and after that or our birthday this year or next year and way beyond
I dont wanna spend another day without him
I never had to be without for longer than 10 days so what is this 2 year thing???
No no no no no no no no no
I’m not okay and i doubt if i ever will be again
1 comment
I wish I could tell you i know how you feel but I don’t. I can’t imagne how hard it must be to lose a sibiling. You’re soulmate. But I know what pain feels like. Excrutiating pain and I know what it feels like to have other people not understand have you feel. You are always going to miss your brother. And I hope that you allow yourself and your soul to heal. It gets real bad before it begins to get good. I don’t know you but I know you’re strong. You’re strong enough for even going through this and you’ll be strong enough to eventually allow yourself to be happy again.