Sometimes I feel out of place, and messy. I’m not sure if I’m meant to be here, not sure if I’m meant to survive. I’ve made mistakes and I try to own them and incorporate change into my life. Others make errors and i try to forgive but not forget. I try to combat these repetitive thoughts that tell me I should go home and lay in bed or stay home and lay in bed or lay on the floor for an hour or two or until my heart feels less heavy.
I feel stuck often but the medication might actually be helping this time. This time it’s not as terrible. Everyday isn’t the end of the world. I just need to push through, push past the tears and breathe. I can do this I think. Must focus and if i don’t succeed, perhaps tomorrow will be better.