It’s so hard. I know that suicide will hurt a lot of the people around me especially Tino. And Tino if you see this I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be another Alexis. I can’t take this depression and these thoughts anymore! Between the thoughts, depression, anxiety, my past, my present, my family, coming out to myself as gay, I can’t go on like this anymore! My wrists are scarred but covered by bracelets, my mind is killing me. My soul is already dead. I found out that not even people who are friends of my family would support me being gay. No one that I’m close to except for like five people would support me. I can’t go on in secrecy. I can’t live like this because the way I’m living right now…. I’m dead. I just can’t do it. I’m sorry.
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I know from your posts you’ve had a difficult time and it seems that things still aren’t going right for you. It’s a shame that in this day and age people still have a problem with being who they are because of the prejudices of others. It’s the greatest shame that someone who has every entitlement to live the way they want and with whoever they want has to feel the need to kill themselves because of it. I hope you somehow find the support, either from the friends you mention or a support network, and free yourself to live YOUR life the way you want to.
+ Please keep trying, however hard you feel it is, because you deserve things to work out for you and to have a future living the life you want to.
You must live in a small town or something where they hate gays. If you went to a big city, you’d fit right in. Sometimes you just need a change in your life to feel better. I’m not belittling your experience but if it’s just over being gay, then as stated, move to a place where gays are accepted and you’ll be happy. If you’re a girl-well lesbians (cute ones at least are very accepted).
I woke up this morning. Turns out 20 ibuprofen won’t cut it. I do live in a small town secondlife and I still have a year and a half of high school left before I can get out. I’m planning on moving somewhere with more people where I can be me.
I once took about 15,000 mg of ibuprofen my senior year of highschool and it didn’t stay down, otherwise I don’t know what would have happened.
Even though I’m extremely depressed again, and I think about this kind of stuff a lot, I am still thankful that the blood thinners didn’t stay down.
I hope things turn up for you soon. Just like there is this website for support, I’m sure there is another website to turn to as well. Even though I personally cannot relate to this kind of pain, I would be more than happy to talk if you ever feel overwhelmed.