IN the last two years I sent my teenage son to live my sister as we were at each others throat constantly. Had my boyfriend move in with me and constantly breaks up with me when I get happy with him. I had thyroid cancer in March 2014. Lost my job for theft in August and am now back to where I started 9 years ago when my sons dad forced me to move into a homeless shelter and start over. My son hates me unless he’s guilting me in to buying him something.My boyfriend wants nothing to do with me. I am jobless and […]
Monthly Archives
September 2014
Ugh. What’s brought me here tonight. My blood is so heavy. I’m exhausted. Really been feeling the physical symptoms of depression for the last 2 weeks. I’ve had two attempts about 4 years ago. I will admit they were probably more a cry for help than anything else. I wanted…needed my pain to be seen and I chose a stupid way to do that. Both times were embarrassing. Hospital time and then 72 miserable hour holds. I swore to myself I’d never do it again unless I knew I could succeed, which leaves me in this really shitty position I’ve been in for awhile now. […]
Somewhere pretty or somewhere energising.
Is it just me or are some people on here so strung out on crap that you can’t make sense of what they are saying?
I wish I had the courage to do something like this. Maybe without the costumes. Just open my arms up and see who would take a free hug. What do you guys think about the video. Would you have still hugged him. I would have. Costume or not. This is my wish for all of you tonight. All of you who are hurting, lonely, sad, depressed, feeling suicidal. Hanging on by a very thin thread. Hugs from me to you. I hope and pray you’ll make it through the night. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Good night SP. =)
I took Venlafaxine for years and at a high daily dosage — 300 mg. I began slow withdrawal in February and quit abruptly in April. It’s 5 months later. I’m still struggling with rages and crying jags and terrible impulsiveness and paranoia and … blah, blah, blah. Also withdrawing from klonapin. I am committed to doing this. I will not continue to take these drugs which never relieved my depression nor my anxiety. Has anyone made it out the other end, clean? How long did it take? I don’t trust the medical profession any longer and don’t believe members have the answers to these questions.
It’s here again, and I need a friend.
Times are tough, this life is rough.
Darkness here, nothing is clear.
Live on I will, despite this life.
Hope is gone, though I carry on.
Despite depression, I’ve learned a lesson.
This too shall pass, it will not get me.
There’s a fight in us, few will see.
Even on life’s darkest paths,
The light of hope will come and find us at last.
Depression is a swirling river, hope is a rickety bridge.
One small nail holds it in place.
We will wipe these tears off our face,
Let’s take this bridge together and find our happy place.
The sun will shine, I will go on.
Someday I truly hope […]
New to the site even though I’ve read plenty of articles on here. Jus looking for the “painless” way out. Up for any feedback. I know a little but about the helium/******** bag methods. Don’t know if there’s anything else out there though
“Or are you just going to become a humble little butterfly”
It’s just me and little Leroy; always has
The only thing that’s right in hell is the ground
Chained, masked, neck to the boulder
Humble white death, utter-doom-child of all calamity
The insulin, the insulin
The saga in the year of the Horse, dark
Taken, under the ‘Blood-Moon’
But fate was already written
My little Leroy, your pure cosmic soul
Will you transfer through, our tears of ours lives
You are my forever, transfer the data
Leroy The Number One, I love you
Nobody knows our history, it was just you and me
Forever and the after, you will always […]
I was ok for a little while….wasn’t having any suicidal thoughts until WHAM.
Now once again, I’m questioning if I’m going to make it to 21.
Note to self:
While going crazy, Pink Floyd is the perfect background music.
Hi, I am new to this site. Well, I have never posted and have rarely commented on anything but I have been around reading for several years. I come to this site to read and have always found much comfort in finding people of similar circumstances and issues. I thought that maybe at long last I would share my story and see what happens. Kind of scary to put it out there I guess but I am going to do so anyway. It may be rather long as I am a writer so I do apologize in advance but would be most grateful if someone […]
Hey. This is my first post ever. I don’t really know how to put my situation into words so I’ll just type and see what comes out.
I have been battling depression for about 10 years now with several highs and lows. I had my first suicidal thoughts when I was 11. I felt useless and lonely although I had a few friends that I loved and a nice family. But I felt so out of place and like all I did was wrong. I started to hate myself and my self-esteem crumbled. I was able to hide it until I was 17 but then I […]
I don’t know anything nothing I feel so fucking crazy and out of control i don’t know what happened the other night I chain smoked three black and mild I’ve never chain smoked before my whole body’s been shaking for three days something’s wrong with my cats Elmo is starting to go bald on his back and it scares me they have vet appointment Friday i have no friends I’m scared for Ryan I probably ruin everything like I always do I don’t know what to think I’ve never never had anxiety before until he first left my first anxiety attack scared me and i […]
I’m so sad all the time… all I want to do is cry, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t control the tears anymore..
What’s wrong with me??? I need help.. but how? I tried telling my mom Im depressed.. but I couldn’t.. because she’ll ignore it and tell me to power through my phase.. I guess that’s what they should end off with at my funeral; she powered through
I’m so tired of living without purpose. Everything is just empty. There is no goal. No imagined future point at which things might be ok again.
I am alone. And I don’t mean physically. I mean morally. I am outside the human community. Everyone I interact with would have to reject me if they knew what I had done, and what I am.
What I have done is unacceptable by anyone, no matter how understanding or well meaning. No one can truly know me, accept me, love me. I am utterly alone. For the rest of my existence.
It is wrong for me to continue to live. And […]
How should I explain to others that I cut? help
One of my old mates that I have been fighting with came around to my house tonight and asked if I wanted to go hunting so I said yes and we went and killed some pigs and stuff with the dogs I had heaps of fun but my legs are sore because we have been running up hills all night it is 4:24am atm I’m so tired time for bed I think goodnight everybody.
In Australia hunting is a big thing and I have been brought up doing it my whole life so it’s kinda like my get away from sitting at home being sad 24-7
I can barely talk to you…
I can’t even say a word to you…
If I were to commit suicide.. you would be the main reason why I no longer want to be on this earth… open mother daughter relationship? Lol yeah totally.. we can’t even talk about the weather.. I hate u… your a *****.. thank you that I’m able to talk to u about being so depressed.. oh wait… I can’t.. because it’s “just a phase”.. a phase that’s been going on for a while.. thank you mom.. I love life so much.. I’m not sad.. I’m so hard working.. I’m gna be […]
I have been in pain for years and I think about ending my life everyday. It’s not about wanting to die, but there is too much pain to handle any more. At this point I am trying to get things in order.
For me, the pain started decades ago when I was abused by priests. I tried to live with it, and for a long time I was able to cope. Unfortunately my mental health has deteriorated along with my physical health for many years and it is no longer a weight that I can carry. I have been diagnosed and re-diagnosed several times – enough […]