48 years old, virgin, never dated, tired of my life. I keep being told it’s up to me to change it, but since it never changes, clearly I don’t do anything to change it. Get depressed reading old posts of mine on internet from five, ten years ago, nothing changed in my life. I just don’t see the point in keeping on. Advice, go out more, exercise, join clubs, for what? I tried, nothing happened, okay got to keep trying, for what? More nothingness? I can’t stand myself, I don’t believe I can change my life for the better, so why shouldn’t I die? Really, why shouldn’t I? Because one day I might wise up, because one day I might find a reason to want to live? Short of winning big money on a lottery, don’t see that coming. So I feel I’m selfish, weak, cowardly, nothing, so why shouldn’t I die? Only person I ever risked having a connection to was my mom, and she died a year ago, and my life hasn’t improved when it’s all up to me, so really why bother? I can’t and won’t change my life, I’m too down and scared to take risks, because in my experience risks don’t pay off, even when nothing goes wrong nothing goes right either, no ‘success’ leads to other ‘successes,” and I know others have worse lives than mine, so again I can’t stand myself and my life. “Only you can live your life” and since I don’t, why bother?
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6 comments
It is true what they say life is what you make of it, I’m on the same boat as you though in some aspects I don’t make much of it. I just don’t see the point, I feel like every time I try I end up being disappointed. It’s hard to get yourself out of the rut, almost impossible. Being a virgin for that long, either something really traumatic happened to you or you really don’t feel like you are deserving of anyone. People are easy, they really are. It’s easy to get laid, I think it’s easier for women then men though…although I know a few girls that would sleep with just about anyone who pays them a compliment. Sounds like maybe you want something more then that though, and honestly a lot of women aren’t attracted to depressed men, but for some reason men are attracted to depressed women. Sounds like you need to fake it, if you can fake it. If not then I feel like you are old enough to make your own decisions if you were like 22 or something, I’d say hey give it more of a go, but I feel once you are 30 plus years old…think you’ve lived life and tried enough to know when it’s over.
Well the truth is that your life. Is up to you. If you not willing to make changes then nothing will change. In Life you have to TRY. Try it. Try something new. Maybe move to a different place and start fresh. Try dating. It can be fun
and for Gods sakes get laid damit! being a virgin at 48 is pretty weird
try some adveturous things
you got nothing to lose
If she’s too depressed to try, life really isn’t totally up to her.
Or him. Person who posted, are you male or female? In either case, I hope you can experience sex with a sexy, yet gentle, person of your choosing. Sex can be awesome. I figured out at 21 that I’d probably never marry. So I had sex as soon as I could, and often, until I reached 50 when the opportunities waned.
I can’t say anything other than what others have said before about getting out and trying to find a life. I know how daunting it can seem to do this and how difficult it will be when you first start if you’re on your own but if you can find someone at some point then it will become easier.
One thing I know to be true from my own life is that if we despise ourselves and have no love or respect for ourselves, others won’r either. It starts with loving yourself first and then the rest will fall into place.
Of course it is the hardest thing to do. But there really is no other way. I’m drowning in my own shit right now and I can’t seem to pull out of it. I don’t know if I ever will again but I only know that when I respected and accepted myself and stopped allowing other people to define me things were good. I hope you can find a way to get there – it works.