I had my soul mate in the palm of my hand but just for a fleeting moment; about a year I guess. Losing her cast the rest of my life in cold, hard and jagged stone. Like most other things in my life, to make my life sustainable takes effort. And I no longer have any effort left to give.

I really, really relate to your idea of missing that which makes you complete. I have found that considering oneself “flawed” or “incomplete” without another person can cause us to be unable to maintain appropriate control of our boundaries – in other words we lose track of where we end and the other person begins and it allows someone else to define us. It isn’t healthy and it sets us up for huge emotional and spiritual disasters. If we are not whole and need someone else to fill the void, that is emotionally unhealthy but if two complete and emotionally healthy people find they compliment each other and fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, then you have something that will likely last a lifetime and they will grow closer each day.

I will probably never be that healthy again – not in this lifetime…