already dead inside

so ive been in this relationship for a couple months now, and here i thought i was finally getting the hang of it. I thought i could finally make her happy. And i was making her happy up until the last few days. then i fucked the whole think up by saying something stupid as i always do. except this time it was worse. I told her one of her exes (one who broke up with her and she still had feelings for) didn’t care about her. that he was using her for some reason. i had figured this because i thought he might suffer from an antisocial personality disorder, primarily psychopathy. I based this on the fact that he goes off alone for days, weeks, months, on end and when hes back in her life. he basically manipulates her into practically anything. i think he just likes toying with her, but theres probably some deeper reason to it. and hes arrogant as fuck. anyway i made the mistake of telling her that, without any sort of warning. and obviously she didn’t take it well. she basically just kicked me out of her life after i told her what i thought. god damn it, i thought i could end up with this girl, i thought i could make her happy until the end. i want to marry her and until this guy came back into her life, she wanted to marry me. she was ready to move on from him until he decided to “check” on her. ugh this bastard didnt even bother to say happy birthday to her when it rolled around. pretty fucking clear sign he doesn’t care. the sad thing is that shes been trying to see his true intentions with regards to her. but because shes in love with him she cant accept the truth of it. I thought i was looking out for her but i didn’t consider how unhappy it would make her to hear what i thought. I’m probably wrong anyway. almost definitely wrong. I’ve never even met the guy, what right do i have to judge him. shes been on him for 5 years she obviously knows better than me what his deal is. anyway ive just lost the only thing in my life that meant anything to me. gah why am i so fucking god damn stupid.