This is my last post, if everything goes well (or horribly wrong, depends on how you see it I guess).
I’m gonna end things this week since some events happened that made me realize the more I prolong things, the worse it’s for me and everyone around me who have to deal with my sorry ass.
I haven’t told anyone but I felt I should just post a little something here. I don’t know.
Anyway. I hope you all the best, whatever the best means for you.
Goodbye
9 comments
May I ask how you intend to end your life, has something happened to make you want to go now, your last post talked about help you were receiving from another source and said how vital talking is. Are you totally sure that those around you will be better off with your death or are you making an assumption on this, sometimes your thinking can be clouded through depression. Again, you know how difficult ending it is, are you sure it’s the right decision, has the talking finally run out for you or can you keep talking, at least for now.
Just want to add that Lsari’s comment below is right, don’t think about other people in your calculations as to whether or not to end it, you don’t know how they’ll take your death, you may say “oh they’d be better off” but in truth they’ll be devastated by it. It’s your life anyway so only consider what you are going through, hope you change your mind and keep talking.
I actually wasn’t receiving help, but I had gotten involved and giving help to people who needed it. I’m unable to take advice or listen to someone, I have a very certain way of thinking. But thank you for taking time to comment!
I understand, one thing I wish to say, I hope you do manage to overcome the feelings you have at the moment, I don’t know if you’re like me where the suicidal thoughts come to the fore but I can push them into the background. I hope you try to keep going for this week and see if it’ll change for you.
Hey monsterly, I won’t ask what happened to you but I feel compelled to call you baka for considering suicide while insinuating that one of your reasons involves not causing trouble for other people.
This is your life, whether you live it with fervor or wallow in depression, it really makes no difference. Don’t waste your time thinking about other people when the only way to find meaning in your life is through yourself.
Life sucks, life sucks hard, there is no happy path for me and it sounds like it is much the same for you. I not very good with words but I am trying to say, do it for yourself. Make sure that the end you seek will only be done once you are sure there is nothing left you want to fight.
I’ll kill myself too, it may or may not be before the end of this year.
There is a milestone for you…will you outlive me? Maybe we will both survive to see 2016, if that happens, I wouldn’t mind asking you for a chat ^^
First of all, thank you for your comment. You have very valid points, points that I have made myself before when I talk to other suicidal people and want to help them. But sometimes our brains see and recognize these patterns, they understand that there might be more to this suffering, but the pain is there. I used to be able to ignore the pain better but lately, it’s too much, even more than before, and when pain takes hold, I’m not the most sensible person. Which might be stupid, but one day it will be what it will be and I’ll end up dead.
I’m a bit confused right now, I’m still not certain if I’ll find the right time to achieve it this week (even though it feels like I will). I’ve been in this place before and obviously I didn’t do it but… I don’t know. Yeah, that gathers it: I don’t know.
I, however, wish you the best. I hope you see 2015 and 2016 and many more years. Maybe we both will. Maybe we won’t?
To lose you as well to this curse…I don’t want that
I hope we will survive this year
I’m always confused by thoughts that you are doing other people a favour by killing yourself. People are very self-involved and will no doubt question if they could have said or done something (so think they are indirectly responsible for your suicide). Suicide is inherently selfish because the only one who gets a break is the person killing themself – it’s like moving away – it’s the people who stay and have to keep living their boring life while you’ve escaped that it sucks the most for.
I think it’s far cooler to accept your life is meaningless and therefore live with reckless abandon. Get one of those boards you can ride on your back and find a fun hill to ride it. Find a business that lets you bungy jump for free if you do it naked. Heck, who cares what people think if you’re going to kill yourself. Buy a big bunny suit (make sure it’s kind of scary and gruesome) and walk around town waving to people – do it often enough that people get creeped out and approach you asking what you’re doing then don’t reply and just stare at them.
Make life interesting for the rest of us!!
I had an elaborate reply to this but your comment made me smile so I only have this now: thank you.
If I end up not doing it, I’m going to print it and have it somewhere near me.