I hate my life.

I hate my life.

I hate my life because I am too stressed. I have been pouring over textbooks my whole life and I have been judge by my peers many many times. I can tell you ,any educational facts, but I cannot tell you the value of security and/or kindness. I can tell you many people have attempted to take their lives because of school. I can tell you that mistakes are viewed as failures in many hallways.  A wrong answer is a sin you must atone to, not a human error, but a flaw so grand it defines your life course. When I get a B or a C my parents ground me. The punish me. For something that is average or advanced. When I get anything that is not an A (I have never gotten a D or lower), my parents (but mostly my mother) start yelling at me that I’m getting lazy and stupid and that I better stop fooling around. I never fooled around. Ever. I have always worked, worked, and worked, with a deep hollow anxiety in my chest. I have never beed good at Math (Algebra or whatever you want to call it), but I managed to get a low B. Still not good enough. It’s never enough. I have developed a deep anxiety thanks to school and perfectionistic tendencies. Even when I get an A, my parents will still criticizes me. They will never remember my achievements, only my failures. Even I am starting to forget my accomplishments, if I have had any. Just one slip from me, and Im in deep trouble. I can tell you that about 90% of us students try our hardest. And our teachers and parents (or at least my parents) are just yelling at us to do better. But I can’t do any better since Im already past my limit.

I hate my life because I am just a puppet for my parents. Since I was 5, I had many responsibilities. Clean the whole house. Take care of your little sisters. Go buy the groceries. Go make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I said goodbye to my childhood by the time I was 7. No your no gonna wear that! DONT apologize for your intelligence, DONT take your education for granted, DONT expect something for nothing, and, most importantly, DONT throw away your future on some boy. Yup, I have been just a mere puppet for my family. I can never make any important decisions in my life because of my parents. I can’t wear the clothes I like. I can’t have friends because I will supposedly get distracted. I have never had regular teenage life. No sleepovers, no parties, no fun, no life. All because of my parents. I understand why they do this. They have never had a good education. They became parents at a young age. I was that child that took their chances away.  I was a mistake. So now, I have to repay them by living THEIR lives. Making THEIR dreams come true. Then, maybe I will finally be free. I have to pass middle school, high school, college, and a university to be free. From them. From the pressure that is slowly, painfully drowning me.

I hate my life.