…it was my life. So yesterday I had to spend the day going through mum and dads things, mum died recently and dad’s off to a nursing home, and came across all this childhood stuff. Do you think I could find something that didn’t remind me of some kind of hell growing up? Nup. Then I found stuff mum had kept with my cancer diagnosis and treatment, all this paperwork (I was 17), disability and deformity and yeah it was like reliving a nightmare. Yep I remember the hardship, the death defying years, decades, the taunts, abuse, stares and ridicule…hang on they’re still happening in my adulthood in 2014!!! Gifted to me by people who, well, let’s just say I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE IT TO THEM…but ya know there’s rotten people in this world isn’t there darlings. So anyway it’s geared me up intensely to pursue suicide. 53 years of this shit and it still happens. Only ONE WAY to stop it. To those with the nasty streak, the mean personalities, the abusers, the mistreaters, those who LOVE making other people’s lives a misery…IT”S YOU NOT ME OK!!!
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I did a favour the other week for a ‘friend’ it cost me $450 which I needed back as I was broke. Did I get it? No. $450 down the drain. I do something good and I get something bad in return. Been going on like this for 14 years now guys. I used to do a 2,000klm round trip at my own expense to help this guy for a year. At the end he sort of apologised for abusing me the whole time. Anyway, he was ‘apparently’ in trouble so I did the RIGHT thing. I got so many stories like this. You’d think I’d learn but I truthfully have no idea how to stop the rot.