Need funeral advice

I understand. You certainly seemed determined and set on this matter. I certainly do hope the best for you and your family in all this. Everyone certainly deals with and handles things in their own way. It can be difficult to “protect” everyone in the fallout with something like this. I don’t know your reason or situations and I certainly won’t pry. Yhe pain your about to cause others though, it can’t be fully avoided. And the depth of that pain (though stemming from you and around you) is fully controlled by them. Most people simply don’t understand that when they are drowning in it. I am not saying your family will have major problems in dealing with it. You would know this better than I could. One of the suicides was a cousin of my mine. He was only in highschool. He has an older sister. They live out on a farm like place. He took a shotgun and went out door and killed himself there on the lil flat in front of the door one night. How this did not wake ppl or draw attention, I don’t know. But they found him the next morning all slumped over in heap just outside the door. This devastated that family. His sister is married and has her own children, we still talk from time to time, but that is certainly a soft issue for her still to this day. This hapeened over 10 years ago. My father, that’s a bit more complicated…..he was a bit abusive in the family. Had quite the temper. What hurts me more than anything about it with him, is that is how ppl will remember and see him. What they didn’t see was how big a heart he had and how much he truly did care. That was the problem for him. He cared and cause he did he couldn’t let things go and it would escalate till he acted out. I know this may not make much sense. I am horrible with words, but his ugliness only existed cause he truly cared and loved and wanted the best and wouldn’t stop trying to give us anything but the best. He couldn’t accept our faults or even his own. Anyways, side tracked sorry. I deal with it just fine. I found him after he shot himself and I think that’s best for me cause I can deal with things like that. My mother was ok shortly after. It hurt her of course but she was fine. My brother…..it hurts him but doesn’t stand in his way. I say this, cause I told him over the phone. He made a one word response, “really…..” In a very emotionless way. I asked if he was ok, and he replied “fantastic” and hung up. I called some close friends of his right after that. He happened to be at their place. I told them they may want to keep around him, and told them why. His friend was shocked and reacted more normally to the situation than my brother did. He then told me that my brother in an odd way just left after I called him. No one could get ahold of him for the rest of the night and he just showed up late the next day like nothing has happened and has continued with that to this point. He avoids talk about it and just simply acts like nothing ever happened. I believe a front of a lot of pain and that’s why he doesn’t go there. Simply turn it off and leave it. My sister, she was away in school. She had the most typical reaction to family loss. I had spoken to faculty first and explained what had happened and that this need be told to my sister. So I had them setup a casual meet with her in their office and he had his wife there. We conferenced a call and told her. I could hear as she burst into tears and had a moment. She has accepted it. Though if subject of dad comes up from a random person or not a personal friend of hers, she doesn’t tell them the truth of his death. She will tell them heart attack. She has mentioned doing this cause she just doesn’t want to talk about it to other ppl. And ppl though they mean we’ll do press uncomfortably in situations when the topic comes about.
I would advise not doing it in a personal home or place family may have to tend to. My situation involved some…..care….and yes there are companies that will clean and all that’, but it’s very expensive. Course this was a gunshot suicide. Me and my mother were the only ones local to it. I kept her from having to take care of anything best I could. I was only 19 at the time. I didn’t know what to do and the clean up was what got to me more than anything I guess. I went to a church we were attending at the time and pulled the youth director aside and told him. He was very consoling at the time though I was ok with that. Then I told him that I needed help getting the kingsize mattress out of the upstairs room so the house could start to air out. He had been dead for about 4 days before I found him. Anyways, he assues me they would help and they did. I had gotten plastic and tape to wrap the mattress in. And him and another guy helped me get it out. I was grateful, emberassed and sorrowed all at the same time. I dunno.