Scared.

I haven’t been in actual war but there are some video games that make it feel real enough. While there’s many bad guys I’d love to kill in the real world like Islamic terrorists, I know I’m not prepared to fight.

Plus the whole problem with battle is not the taking action, shooting a gun, etc…it’s the surprises, the sniper who had a bead on the back of your head the whole time you were getting in a position to kill his terrorist buddy.

Plus in real life your endurance, bullets, vision is finite and there’s no respawn. Then if you get captured, you’ll wish you were dead. I’ve felt genuine fear in some of these video games I’ve played, only because you get so absorbed. I’ve even laughed at myself for taking a game seriously but the emotion was real. Now with things like the ‘Cave’ and Occulus Rift, games are only going to get ever more real/immersive.

As for real death it is scary-this is why so few of us take it to that point-only those of us who are driven to our wits enough and have no escape from a terrible existence follow through. Though sometimes it can be snap-decision as well.

I’ve experienced asphyxiation before, I wasn’t able to breathe for what felt like 2 or 3 minutes, my lungs were burning but then kind of subsided….I felt I might be close to blacking out because my vision started fading and I thought if this is what death will feel like from choking, it’s really not that awful…I was ok after but it was a good unintended test run at the real thing one day maybe if I go this route. But most likely I’m aiming for inert gas-no need for all that choking drama. Also wouldn’t want my family to think I suffered a lot before I died.