The Miracle Of Life?

People say that just having been born is a miracle…but what if your life has just seemed like a constant unrelenting series of break and enters.  That’s how I feel.  All of my major stages of life right from early childhood have just been marked with catastrophic events.  I’ve posted before what’s happened to me so I won’t go into that again <hears cheers>.  I’ve had two psychologists tell me that I’m the worse case they’ve seen.  One even told me that even though she’s trained not too feel her patient’s pain she told me that my case affected her.  That’s no lie. At 53 I’ve had too much taken from me…that last big thing that was taken away was my bf…if he only really knew how much I loved him, how much he meant…he has my heart, I cannot love another.  I’ve become deeply suspicious of everything now and have placed barriers up all around me.  I’m isolating as much as I can and don’t even return calls from friends.  I’ve got my exit strategy worked out though…long overdue…just gotta do a few more things before year’s out.