I attempted to commit suicide a few days ago. Unfortunately I got caught and was sent to hospital. I have to say staying in public psychiatric hospital has got to be the most degrading experience of my life. Here is my story of stay in a psychiatric ward:
On the 20th October 2014, I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with the nurses on morning duty at the Adult Acute Ward. Just before the morning meeting, I had noticed that I got my menstrual cycle because my pants had blood stains on the crotch area. I asked one of the nurses if I could take a shower explaining to her I was bleeding due to my menstrual cycle. One of the nurses, Sarah*, told me that I could not have a shower and that I would have to wait until shower time which is after dinner to have a shower. I knocked on the door again showing her the blood stains on my pants which was covered by my oversized jumper. She basically restated what she had said, gave me a sanitary pad and slammed the door on me before I could reply. I knocked on the door again as I wanted to explain to her that sanitary pads would not help because I’m already soaked in my blood and do not have access to the clothes because they locked all the rooms. I was ignored and when I put my foot on in front of the door while it was opened to stop them from ignoring me, Sarah threatened me with a sedation injection. When I asked to speak to the unit manager, I was further patronised and rudely spoken to by a nurse whom I believe was named Tanya*. Sarah had refused to give me the other staff’s name even though I have read in the rights sheet that I am entitled to an introduction from the staff. Tanya had told me that if I had not have given them ‘attitude’, they would have let me take a shower and that the Unit Manager is currently on her break. I now know they lied to me about the name of the unit manager as there I later found out there is no staff by that name.
Soon afterwards, I noticed the Unit Manager was in her room. I knocked on the door, told her my story and offered to make a statement in writing. She told me that a written statement was not necessary. I explained that maybe if I was able to write it down that I would be better able to express myself and be able to give more detail. She specifically instructed me not to and reassured me that she understood what I was saying and that she would investigate the problem. Her investigation consisted of simply speaking to the nurse and nothing more. No other staff were interviewed, no patients were interviewed, not even whether or not I accept or deny her side of the story was taken into consideration in determining her decision of doing nothing regarding the rudeness displayed by the nurses. The story of the nurse was solely regarded as truth and I was further spoken to in a condescending manner (which I could not believe it was coming from the head nurse). I believe that she condoned their behaviour by stating that “we are all human” as if that is suppose to justify having a lack of consequences for their behaviour or resolve the problem at hand. She claimed that I was not allowed to take a shower due to shortage of staff and yet with the same amount of staff, they soon after we’re able to accommodate my needs to take a shower. There were at least 3-5 people at the nurses bay and even more outside. Most of them were actively ignoring me, talking between themselves or looking at their phones.
*Names Changed
8 comments
I have been there…5-1/2 years ago I attempted when I could not handle my eating disorder any longer, and instead of landing in the ED unit first, I ended up in the Adult psych unit. Two of the staff for the 3 days I stayed there belittled me at every meal for not eating. I guess being 90 lbs and unable to walk didn’t cue them in enough that something else might be wrong with me….
How are you doing now? One worry i got, ending up in a situation like this.
All psych wards are typically are ways for vulnerable people on the outside to be given the guise they want so people on the inside get taken advantage of…… There are a rare few psychologists that are trying to get something else done, but they are few. Here is a site that talks a lot about this…. you might find someone rare who actually gets your situation on Mad in America: http://www.madinamerica.com/ It is amazing to me that people can be so heartless and turn a blind eye to people already suffering, but that is what they do in there. The industry is really just that…. industry; not geared to help you, but help themselves to your wallet/purse…..
One more article that might be interesting…..
http://www.madinamerica.com/2013/12/psychiatric-treatment-may-force-go/
When it comes to people trying to commit suicide but failing or getting caught in the process, society has only one typical type of reaction, somehow to get that person away from their ‘normal gathering’ to some psychological set up or facility, to get their thought process working like normal social beings again! Society doesn’t want to give empathy or love, which is most needed, not bothering about how much pain one might be going through. Sadly, this world is such wicked and governed by such a wicked society! Unless you toe their line, they will make your life one big hell!
You have no option but to bear this period of torment silently. Pretend as if you are slowly transforming to fool the morons and you are realizing your mistake, while deep down strengthening your resolve. Behave in same way with the people in your family as if you have been cured (lol)! Then just wait for your chance to hit on the target. Don’t slip up this time. Do proper research, collect the materials required, cover the loopholes, read the success stories of persons using such similar methods and then confidently perform the job with elan! Good luck!
how can there be suicide success stories? If they were successful then they wouldn’t have lived to tell the tale?
Like a deafening silence, or my idea for a solar powered flashlight.
Haven’t you read of suicide related reports that are all over internet? They don’t talk about the method in great detail, only mentions them, which is enough for a person who knows it in great detail. That to me is a success story for the one who did the act.