So for the past year or so ive been thinking about a suicide daily, life’s so hard at the minute.. my ex girlfriend lives two doors down from me which im still madly in love with and think about her daily. its so messed up for me i mean i can get off my bed and look out my window and her windows there.. recently lost my job. can honestly say i have just one friend and shes 41. no male friends. no interaction with girls. removed my fb account the other week. and on top of everything i have a cyst on my bollock which is the most scariest thing in the world i mean in the past i told a couple of girls i was close too but none of them offered to come hospital with me. i think the hospital thing tops it all off. no friends no girlfriend. my mum is the only person i communicate with on a daily basis. she really is an amazing woman.
ive tried to hang myself but i failed.. just not got the balls for it no pun intended lol. but i smoke weed, mostly get these thoughts when im not smoking, but still when i am smoking, i can get information from one guy i know on playstation on how to gt stuff from silk road2. he buys drugs from there successfully so i know i can get harmful drugs weather or not its ********. so yeah i just joined this site and thought i would put my input in, sorry for boring you. but thanks for reading.
im almost 22.
my names dan, thanks for reading x
4 comments
I smoke to. Sometimes, my experiences are really dark. I’d say the thoughts are a lot less when I’m stoned, but they don’t always completely go away. Sometimes it’s like there are voices screaming at me to kill myself.
thanks for your input brother. yeah smokings like silencing it… i used to hear voices i was put in hospital for it and self harming a few years back, my dads been in a nut house too so its defo in my genes. lifes so fucked up brother
I’ve been battling with cutting too. I definitely agree… life is so fucked up. We’ll never truly understand it. Maybe we aren’t meant to.
Just something some of us go through mate. maybe not maybe not