I wish I didn’t feel the physical effects of depression. Lethargy is the worst–you can’t do anything and yet you can’t tell anyone why you can’t do anything. This entire weekend I’ve done nearly nothing, but why should I do anything anyway? All of our existences are inherently meaningless, our lives will end and we will all be Nothing. Truly, nothing in this life actually matters at all. And yet we go about as though we have a purpose (well, most people do anyway, I suppose people like me do not) and believe that life is beautiful and sacred when it isn’t. Life is just all an accident. Life has never made that much sense to me, honestly, and I don’t see a point in not dying. I’m speeding up the inevitable. It doesn’t matter what I leave behind, since everyone that it effects will die one day, too. Maybe I’m seeing things incorrectly. I just wish I could understand what most people feel, to feel needed and loved, happy and alive. I don’t get why most people want to live.
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Depression is a hard thing to cope with, when I’m not working I just lay in my bed most of the day, work is difficult as, again, I’d rather stay in bed, my bed is peace for me, a sanctuary. I kind of agree with what you’re saying but believe things in life do matter when you interact with those around us, yes, they die as well but still it matters. Why do most people want to live, idk, their lives are such that they don’t consider wanting to die, are they too busy, too much in love, enjoying going out, have a future planned, idk. I see those at work laughing and joking and I wonder how they do it, do they ever think of suicide or I’m I alone in that, do they think I’m ok as well.
I hope you find more in your life, to find a reason to keep going, life may not make sense but we all should seek something in it however difficult.
I just don’t understand why I should try to find something to live for if my life will be lost in the end. My prospects in life are not very good because of my depression and social ineptness; although I appear as though I am fine to most other people, I am a big ball of misery that’s going to end up exploding. Can you explain to me why you feel that interaction matters even though we all die? I’m thinking very long-term, but on Earth one day all life will cease and nothing will be remembered–we will have lived, but for nothing. I am truly okay with this fact, but it just furthers the idea that we’re all meaningless. After I die there will be nothing. I will not know how people are coping without me (there are not many people who would mourn me, just my small family) nor would I care, as I would be literally dead and how no human emotions or consciousness. Only alive do I care about that stuff, and I don’t know why I care. I think, maybe, I feel much more unhuman than I should. I just went outside and saw people together having fun and was so disgusted by them. My one reason to keep going is my family, but again, I don’t see why I am still going just for them. That is not a good life to live.
Thank you for your response, and I’m sorry for the way you feel.
What you’re saying does resonates with me, perhaps it’s me trying to find meaning with my life when I say our interactions matter. When we’re dead then nothing matters for us but life goes on for others around us, like friends or family, and I do care for them. I think, one day, I’ll probably end up accepting everything you say, I can’t put up much against what you’re saying, only a feeling that being kind is worthwhile but it hasn’t helped me in life, so are you right? When those I work with talk about small and trival things in their lives I do wonder what’s the point of it all, why do we live, why do I want to live when death would be easier. Again, I keep going because it seems the right thing to do, not a good reason I grant you, but that’s what we all do. I will say I find dealing with others hard as I’m not good with talking to them, prefering to be by myself, and that’s why I feel bad about myself when I see others who are happy together, I’m envious I suppose. Perhaps talking here on SP will help you to find something, lives can be empty and hence meaningless, only here can I find people who share this thought.
I feel that lethargy and that depression too schema, I have done virtually nothing this weekend and so tired. I don’t understand the mania for living either, or the fear of death that most people seem to have. I do envisage a totally different world where life would be fun, but all my efforts to bring this about have failed so far lol.
The physical effects of depression devastate me. Combined with social anxiety, it’s a disaster. My therapist and psychiatrist want me to spend time outside the house. When I do, it’s in a remote corner of the Library where nobody can bother me. It’s interfered with my going to church and that really upsets me. Today I deliberately forced myself to go to the Laundromat on a busy Sunday. Needless to say, it didn’t go well.
This isn’t the way to live.
Well there are things in life worth living for. Like doing something good with you life. Achieving accomplishments, making a positive difference in the lives of others aroud you. Being a good citizen and also finding things to do that bring you joy.
Fist thing I would do if I were you would be to spend some time taking a personal inventory of you mind and also what has goen on in you past and try to come up with the reason for your depession. Like are you depressed becaue you bored, are you depressed because somebody abused you, are you depressed because you are afriad of the future, do you have low self esteem etc etc. If you can pin point the reason for your depession then you can work on getting past it.
Yes depression can be hard to deal with and sometimes meds that are prescribed for depession can make a person tired. But TRY! you have to try to get better and you will if you try.
Instead of laying in Bed TRY to get up and do something. Just get out of the houe fo a while and go for a walk or do some other execise activity. You will feel better. Also ty to find things that lift you up. A good book, a chat with a fiend, some uplifting music, enjoy the sceney outdoors, go for a ride in a car someplace. Do something fun.
When you get over your depression and you will you will find that there is meaning in eveything and everything we do matters.
Everything you do matters…. everything you do has to do with becoming who you are and making progress in you soul.
Be Good, make good choices and move forward and find a path for yourself that is positive
Uptown234 – I don’t mean this in a mean way, but your post shows you have no idea how schema feels or where he/she is coming. I can’t speak for him/her but general BS advice like that usually makes me feel worse.
I’m sorry to say this too…but i must agree with argh. Spreading meaningless “good vibes” can make people feel worse here. Throwing out all kinds of recommendations to what people should do with their time, attutudes and their lives doesnt validate how they feel or why they came here in the first place..especially without knowing them. Every recommendation just tells the person they aren’t actually trying, as if their life is so simple. It’s not.
My Apologies for being critical again, I mean no harm.