Today, was really down, more then usual, so I had taken a pain pill. And I was thinking during the last period of the day that I was going to home and overdose on pain pills. My friend had asked me why I was so quiet, so I told her, and she told me a lot of people would miss me. I told her I didn’t believe her, she told me to go ask my Mentor, Ms. M if she would miss me. So I did. She told me she would be sad and mad. And that she would miss me. She gave me a small lecture on me being on pills, that I shouldn’t be doing them. “Why?” I asked. “Because you shouldn’t be doing those things to your body.” “You act like I care.” “I care.” “Well you shouldn’t.” “Why?” “Because you shouldn’t.” “But I do.” “Well you shouldn’t. I’m leaving.” She got up an hugged me. And said “I still love you, even if I don’t like What you are doing.” It made me feel all warm inside. I love it when she tells me that, I’ve always want that ‘Motherly’ figure to hold me and tell me they love me and care about me. And all those things.
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2 comments
Whilst I get where your at I don’t do that to try and get people to mother me. It’s your gig and I get that but for me anyway I feel like ending it purely and solely because of what life and people have done to me…no other reason. Good anyway that you have someone who really does care but don’t be too manipulative ok…it’s not fair.
Why did you tell your friend about your plan, if you sincerely thought it would end up killing you? Did your mentor tell anyone about what you said, since you admitted to being suicidal and had a plan? I understand where you’re coming from with trying to get people to be nice to you (which is essentially what you’re doing), but threatening to kill yourself isn’t the way to go. You’ll just end up in a ward.