This is my first post on this site though I have read many stories that I relate to deeply. I have had depression since pre-pubescent years and suicidal ideation since fourth grade. A feeling of worthlessness has always presided over my life; I have never been able to fit in and because of that it only reinforces the fact that I don’t belong here. After many attempts to free myself from this world, I am composing a final plan to sever the silver chorde. Before you say that I need to seek help, let me assure you that I decided to seek help for years but nothing has changed. The medicines that they give to stop me from feeling only strangle what little voice I have left. I have gone through so much therapy it’s ridiculous and still have a therapist. I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m not interested in her “help” any longer. I have no friends. I dropped out of college because I couldn’t afford it and failed to successfully form relationships. I am recently unemployed. Must I go on? I will always recommend someone get help before choosing the route I will soon take. Perhaps it could change their life. It just didn’t work for me. I don’t want to be here twenty more years down the road and have a family that depends on me only to feel the same way and end up doing it anyway.
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Hi GalaxyEyesXx,
You have a lot of life to live, why not just stay and see what happens? It’s going to end either way. There may still be some reason for you to live that is not extinguished, and there may also be room for happiness in your future.
I’d also like to mention that there are many alternatives to treatments of depression that is not be able to be reached with a therapist, some research on the internet may be necessary if you have not done so already. I wouldn’t trust the typical medicine.
I understand your thinking galaxy. It’s hard to think anything is worth it when life just brings you crap upon crap. What’s the point? What is this meant to be some endurance test? See how much crap you can take. I’m sure there are millions of people that don’t endure what I and many of the posters here endure daily. I know this cuz of all the people I’ve met none have had to put up with what I have…none. And I also know quite a few people that have pretty charmed lives so don’t tell me life’s like this for everyone. It isn’t. Galaxy, I’ve tried suicide 3 times. I’m not that happy I failed. I don’t know how old you are, maybe if you’re young good things may come. Me? I’m 53 and it’s been crap for all 53 years, no break, no breather. So for me I can’t think to myself “well I’m young maybe something good will happen”. Time has pretty much run out for me. Thanks so much to the people who contributed to making it worse, wow, how good do you feel about that? I’d be horrified with myself if I made someone else’s life a misery.
I have waited so long for good things to come but I am done waiting. I won’t argue with you that life is crap since I don’t know your situation but I wish the best for you, kontinkatink. I don’t believe life is crap for everyone, but I know that mine is.. or rather not my life but myself as an individual. Script_Bunny I appreciate the sentiment but there are reasons not mentioned in the above post that have made this decision final and I will not waver in it. I have been in the mental health system for a while, tried all their tricks but it didn’t work for me. The medicine they gave me(tried a cocktail of different ones) either don’t help or they don’t even allow me to function as a normal human being. I can’t simply wait to see what happens..I suffer so much on a daily basis as it is. Imagining my life like this until I’m old….I cannot bear to think of it dragging on. I don’t want to be in pain anymore.
Love, I get it’s hard, but I have faith you’ll make it through, you just have to look at the bright side! Start off trying to find a job, get a good one, take it one step at a time babe. You’ll make it out alive. I have faith in a lot of you, it’s just a rough patch in your life that will soon be over. The starts always the hardest part.
GalaxyEyesXx, the mental health system is fundamentally flawed. It is primarily centered around money, that is why millions of people are dying of cancer.
I can tell you without any doubts that there is some help out there for you. You just can’t trust mainstream medicine.
I know it is flawed although I believe there are some who genuinely want to help. I am so tired of ‘help’ but I feel so selfish for turning away from their attempts to fix me even though it never works. I am done with help…but thank you, dear.
oceans away from everybody. i know that feel bruh. keep on swimming maybe you’ll find someone else in that ocean who gets it?