I’m going to jump off a building. My life isn’t even in shambles, which makes me hate myself even more. I got handed what I thought was my dream job. I can’t Handel it, and hate it. I have no backup plan or motivation. All my jobs have been luck, I’m stupid and have no actual skills, hobbies or dreams for the future. Pathetic. All my friends work for the company and I can’t quit. There is no leaving on good terms. I’ve been depressed for months. Can’t stop sleeping. Miserable to be around. Everyone’s advice is to keep trying and figure it out. I’m just too weak of a person. Eventually they are going to realize how badly I’ve been messing up, it just hasn’t happened yet. I’d rather die then stick around and participate in my life going to complete shit. Which is inevitable. The domino effect of failure. I wish I was stronger, smarter, better. My problems are tiny compared to most. Which just makes me loathe myself more.
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2 comments
If your company has health benefits or an Employee Assistance Line, use it. It might be helpful to get some advice before you make any decisions. Sometimes we get overwhelmed and need to adjust course. I’ve been there, done that.
As for the future, have you considered going back to school? It might help you to study something that interests you and, later on, change careers. School will also help you meet new people so all of your friends aren’t concentrated in one place (in this case, work).
Don’t hate yourself. We all have things in life that stress us out. If you give things enough time, it’s possible to see the light.
Reaching out is good. Keep doing it. As the person above has said if they have an assistance line use it. There are several good places to reach out in a mostly or completely anonymous way, even this website. I do not know your pain as it is specific to you, but I do know that you are not alone. Please remember that. I bid you peace…