Listening to certain pieces of music instantly triggers anxiety attacks, my mood worsens in just a few minutes and I get those thoughts that I would actually like to avoid. The pieces aren’t special or particularly high quality, it’s rather the fact that I listened to them for a period of time when I felt really bad and thus my brain associates it with these kind of emotions. I can actually trace some songs to the time and reason of feeling bad, which is kind of funny since I was listening to music to make me feel better and now it does the exact opposite. It sucks because I love these songs.
When I have a clear mind not clouded by depression I don’t listen to these pieces because I know what they do to me, but when I already have a low mood and am not in full control of myself I tend to turn them on for some reason. I guess it’s the kind of self-harm that others like to express by cutting, luckily not as dangerous though.
Do you have some kind of depression trigger that you know of? Unfortunately there aren’t many triggers that do the opposite, i.e. lighten up your mood and make you feel better. An episode of Family Guy for example is always nice to watch and to make you forget other stuff, but for me it’s no comparison to the songs I was talking about.
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I’ve created a Playlist I call “the rabbits hole” it’s got every sad and emotional song I can find. It’s intentionally made to keep me down and away from manic episodes where I start to “flip”. The closest I come to positive songs right now are probably the silver sun pickups. But i still have a regular Playlist waiting for me when I’m ready for it.
I have a few triggers like this. As far as music goes, I discovered some months ago that “The Riviera Affair” can just about bring me to tears. I YouTube it sometimes if I’m already sad. It is a piece of music they used to use for the 4 o’clock movie commercials on TV here in the 80’s. It reminds me of the time period when my close-knit family kind of came apart and it was just my mom and me, both pretty depressed I can see now. Sometimes after school, and if she had the day off, she would be in her bedroom lying on the bed watching tv in the dark and smoking cigarettes. I would be out in the living room, in the dark, watching TV too. Well, not really dark dark, but in the wintertime it starts to get dark about that time so it was more of a grey. I wish I could get my head out of that place.
Yeah, anything from the 80’s actually. Lots of music that I listened to, TV commercials, etc… Just fuck my mood up.
Anything by Scala & Kolacny brothers keeps me right where I need to be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ3CZat9U6s&sns=em
Oops…my bad.. was I not aloud to do that?
huh?
Oh I see, you have a post with a YouTube link pending. That’s odd.
I posted a link to a YouTube video. Scala & Kolacny brothers version of “use somebody”
Check it out.
Here’s one of mine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PouPaKlXGI
That was the year I was born.. very 80 ‘ s
So that reminds you of being back in your home as a kid?
Yeah, not just being there but the whole time. That’s when my grandmother died and the family just kind of split up after that and there was just the two of us left. For some reason I must remember a sad time while watching the 4 o’clock movie I guess.
Sorry, didnt mean to hijack someone else’s post.
December was one of the most okay times of my life, and there’s two artists that I listened to at that time and now whenever I listen to one of them now i get very happy. and there’s some certain songs that really disturb me too just because i listened to it at a bad time in life. 😛
Unfortunately when I’m depressed (most of the time) I don’t want to listen to music at all…I went for years like this recently. Even sad songs just don’t do it for me.
Nothing does it for me its all temporary anyway