What is the point of living anymore?
I will never reach any of my goals. I will forever be stupid, fat, and unwanted. No one I like will ever return the feelings. I will never have friends who truly care, not even enough to learn trivial things like my birthday.
What is the point of living, if my father will still deny that he abuses me, and that I have depression that has been diagnosed by my many therapists. What is the point of living if my mother will blame the disasters in her life on me, and threaten to walk out on me.
What is the point of living, if I have such bad trust issues I can’t even trust my therapist or talk to her, so my mother takes of the appointment and tells them all of the horrible things I embody.
What is the point of living, when at school I am ridiculed, bullied, and told to kill myself.
Maybe I will so my disease won’t get the best of me, so that I don’t have to wake up everyday dreading what will happen at school and at home.
Maybe I will so that I can finally climb out of this black-hole of hate I have been living in for the past 5 years.
And then I will have a small chance at happiness.
9 comments
It doesn’t matter about weight, looks, or intelligence honey. I’m skinny, beautiful, and have a masters degree. The things that matter are who you have, who loves you. I have no one, no one to love me.
You have whatever created this huge masterpiece beyond any comprehension that loves you. If not that then you can settle for me. 😉
I’d have to disagree, looks/intelligence do matter to an extent. I personally would never associate with anyone who’s obese, unattractive or not very bright/educated. There are many people like that. However I do know an overweight girl at work who’s well-liked. She has a nice/fun personality and she’s pretty active so she doesn’t seem like a lard-ass who sits around eating ho-hos all day. But I’d say she’s a rare exception.
Yes confidence does help but it only gets you so far. In your case either I’m guessing you’re not meeting the right guys and you have high standards-nothing wrong with that though. I prefer it when attractive women are selective.
But I think attractiveness means a lot esp. when it comes to dating. When I was very fit/well built, I used to completely take for granted all the girls who used to be interested in me. Now I’m overweight (by 30 lbs) and barely get attention from women, unless I’m in a situation to chat it up and then they realize I have a host of other great qualities.
However having been on the ‘other side’ at least in my case, I know I have no choice at all but to get fit again if I want to date the kind attractive girls I used to when I was younger. It’s a very hard road I face, I have other problems to deal with in my life like upgrading my job, so it’s difficult for me to get to the gym. So like you I’m very much alone. If I lived with my parents and had lots of free time then I’d be at the gym all day, every day…but unfortunately it’s no longer the case for me.
I’m a teacher
That is tough living, and I feel for you, I really do. I cannot answer ‘what is the point?’ because i don’t believe there is a point, like the moon doesn’t orbit the Earth because it is trying making a point. I myself am a total loner: I have little to no chemistry between my ‘family’ and ‘friends’. So I am left without purpose (because I don’t believe in it), I’m a loner, I’m realistic (neither pro life nor death). what it left to do? Well… I’ve always admired whales, and dolphins: they don’t swim and splash to prove a point. So perhaps I should just set sail.
Oh and as for been dumb, again I don’t consider there been a point for been smart. Just don’t set a standard, learning happens best when you just let it happen and not when you force it.
S.P.I.M.H.,
This is just my view, but here are some thoughts on the things you asked:
– You will one day be able to walk away from home and your parents (it may even be possible now). Whether or not you choose to keep them in your life is your choice, but they will not always be able to be a cloud over you.
– I believe a therapist tries to remain as impartial as possible. If you do go in and speak with her, I don’t feel whatever your mother has told her will matter.
– You won’t be in school forever. I know it may seem like a long road, but you will not have to deal with these people for the rest of your life.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
I used to be fat and was unhappy and considered myself ugly and all. Lost weight and nothing changed, i still considered myself ugly. Changed my attitude a bit and that worked wonders, but then shit happened and i got ill and everything went to hell again. Through it all, people abandoned me, some others stayed with me or new ones appeared, i accomplished some goals, failed at others, etc. Repeat that a couple of times and you got the idea.
What i’m trying to say is that it doesn’t matter how you look, it’s more important what you think of yourself and what you do to improve yourself (for you, not for the others). No person is worth less than other, regardless of the stupid scales people use to measure how much one is “worth” nowadays (success, money, fame, bs.). You have to consider that even if you make the effort things can (and most likely will) still go wrong, there’s just no guarantees, but while you can (and want) you should just give it your all to achieve whatever it is that you want out of life.
Why you say these things you have the power to think what you like and you choose these? You have the power to become whatever you envision. You say this words as they hold you prisoner just simple man made vibrations echoed through the echelons of time. The mind is a powerful tool to create personal advancement and fulfillment. I was in a torrent of self inflicted suffering caused by misunderstanding. But through the darkness came the light which made me appreciate all the more, you are a powerful being with capacity to love infinitely and embrace infinite intelligence. Stay beautiful.
I’ve dated uglies and pretties, slims and chubbies. The longer relationships depended on their attitude much more than their looks. Well, except for one, she was moped ugly. Otherwise we just had sex.