I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great job, friends who do care and yet here I am on a Friday night on this website. To the point – i am struggling with coping with everything. A lot has happened recently. Both my parents have been unwell recently. My dad suffered from a heart attack and my mum had a really bad infection. They were both admitted into the hospital and it was only me on my way. My dad was in another ward and my mum was in the other so I had to frequent back and forth to make sure each were ok. It was that moment that tipped me over the edge because it made me realize how close i was to losing either and or both of them. I moved out of my family home about 3 months ago and moved in with my boyfriend. It was a learning curve – as all new relationships are especially when moving in together because you learn a lot about them and get to know the real them.
I am depressed. i have such wonderful people around me yet i still struggle to believe i do. I’m sorry – i realize i am jumping topics here but don’t really know how to order them. I feel like i am a shit daughter, a shit sister, a shit girlfriend and a shit friend. I feel at the moment i can’t do anything right. Every day i listen to people problems and help them. I feel i have answers for other but when it comes to my own I can’t even begin where to start.
2 comments
Rain_26,
It sounds as if the weight of your parents’ health situation is bringing you down to the point where you are questioning everything around you. This isn’t unusual at all – two people you love are very ill. And I don’t think it’s uncommon for such a situation to mess with a person’s mind that way. You spoke in your post of all the wonderful people around you, which means you do realize it. The clarity of it is likely just buried underneath a lot of fear right now.
For what it’s worth, you don’t sound like a “shit” daughter or friend at all. Actually, quite the opposite – someone who goes out of their way to care for their parents and listen to others.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
Hi Rain,
it sounds like you forget to take care of yourself. You can only take care of others If you are well yourself. Take some time off. There are doctors that will take care of you parents and your boyfriend should understand if he is as great as you say. If you can’t believe the people around you are great maybe that’s because they aren’t. Most people are shitty and selfish. The only way you can have a healthy relationship is if you stop taking care of others and start taking care of yourself. Don’t do what you think you should do. Do what you want to do and as long as you have integrity everything will fall into place. I know it’s hard. I can’t follow my own advise completely. But I try and so should you.
If it gets really hard maybe you should get some professional help.
I wish you all the best!
Held