Why should someone stay alive ? No one feels your pain , your sorrow . No one really knows everything you’ve been through . I was rapped , then hurt by the love of my life . He cheated on our anniversary . How could I believe he would change when he asked me to take him back ? I was hurt , sad , depressed . I was going through a transition in my life . Before he cheated I had ran away from home . I walked from my house all the way to my grandmothers house . My mom didnt love me , she only loved my half brother and my stepdad . As soon as I left the household everything was better for her . Me not being there changed her life in a good way … Now Im 15 years old thinking about killing myself . I have thought about this for years now . My first attempt was last year , me and my mom got into a altercation . I went upstairs and put a plastic bag over my face . I started to get dizzy , before my eyes closed my grandmother came into the room and took the bag away from my face . Why didnt she just let me die ? Now I moved from my county to another . I go out with the same love that cheated on me . Stupid right ? I know . We always argue . But we bring it together … but his ex he cheated on me with is pregnant and claims the baby is his . I have dealt with that , but Im not as strong as I seem . We have broke up … Ive been wanting to die , but he wouldnt let me . Now that we are over I can OD in peace . I have nothing left to live for , my life … I dont want it anymore . Why should I live ?
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Sometimes it takes an incredible amount of effort to find that reason. When life has gone to hell, all seems lost. Two years ago, I was ‘thisclose’ to ending it all. Today, I still struggle. I try to find purpose… and I work on moving forward.
At 15, life can be really difficult. Just being a teenager is challenging enough. With all that you’ve experienced, life has become a full-blown struggle. But there is also a more positive side to your age. At 15, you’re a few years away from finishing school. You’ll probably gain some more independence and be able to do get away (literally) from some of the circumstances you now face. Going to college or joining the military can take you further away. Entering the working world will change your life’s focus. What I’m trying to convey is that, down the road, there is the potential for positive change.
If you have people in your life that you can talk to, talk to them. This place (SP) is a good community. Maybe there are people in your life you can confide it. Sharing your thoughts sometimes serves as a release valve of sorts.
I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through.