im just depressed, depressed all the time, i cant feel happy since like 2 years, i forgot what happiness feels like, all i can feel is pain, all the fucking time, and i hate it, i really do, if i die nobody’s gonna hurt me, so i guess, with the new year ill be dead, i need to die, i have to, i dont wanna feel pain, i hate it, i really do! i dont know how i will suicide, maybe i will jump from the roof, maybe ill take pills (even though i tool pills 2 times trying to suicide but obviously that didn’t work.), maybe i will buy a gun and just shoot myself (maybe that is the best way), i don’t know, there’s alot of ways to die, and im always ready to die, and that is the most important thing, i hate life, im just 16 and i dont want to continue life, maybe ill hurt my parents, but i will be dead, so you may say that im selfish, but i will be dead so i dont think that i’ll care when im dead, or what do you think?, and im atheist, i dont believe i god and in hell, so i will die relieved, i will feel no pain anymore, before i suicide, i will write my last note here, thank you all.
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I’m feeling the same. Was one of the only people who was made redundant and not took back then other jobs haven’t lasted leaving me feeling rejected plus I have become a pure loner without going outside really due to anxiety from the amount of times I’ve been attacked, stabbed, slashed and robbed. I couldn’t fell my face, hands or feet and now I find myself constantly crying as Ivery tried twice to end it since about April with a silly electricAl wire that was a really bad feeling before it gave way then I have a boiler in my room but no luck there. The doctor told me to talk to family but that’s made me feel worse and find myself thinking of doing it just about everywhere I am but want it to look accidental for the records/death cert to make it clear I am in the worst position possibly in every aspect of my life and then I feel like going and getting revenge by killing a few others in the hope I’ll be killed along the line too and doubt I’ll see 2015 either.
Please don’t. You are so young. Where do you live that you keep getting hurt physically?
What’s wrong with this world that such young people have t feel so badly.
I’ve already been there I’m older now…not old just older and I don’t want to be here because I have an entire life of pain. But if I was 16 again…I think. ..I hope I would live differently.
Just be alone and only come our to work and be loving and kind…but never trust anyone ever.
Just live alone and be a good person, but keep all those mean, hurtful people away.
That’s what I’d like to do even now. But I’m almost homeless and before that happens I’m leaving this hell.
But if you are young.. don’t give up. I know now if I would have sheltered my heart and just maybe worked with little children and went home sure life would be a bit lonely but I wouldn’t have all this pain. I would’ve planted a garden, painted, wrote books, died, and not suffered like I have from those professing to love me. Liars, cheaters, and users. Family never loved me either? Why? No reason. Jealousy is what I’ve been told. I was a shy, quiet person. Intelligent, a very in tune with some sort of knowing. ..never thought I was pretty so I couldn’t have been because I acted stuck up. Never even thought I was anything but plain actually until people started telling me I was beautiful. But I never thought so. I don’t know…but all my life I was really hurt, physically abused by parents, first boyfriend, and worse by the next. So, now I’m done. I’ve tried long enough. I welcome death to come.
But when you are so young you can change your life I know you can.
For me it just has never changed. I’m sorry that I can’t show you a better way. If I had money I would gather all you hurting souls up and help you all to have a better life. I’d buy a giant hour and make you all feel so special every day. Then my life would be worth living. But the rich only care about themselves. They zoom right past the homeless, casting their evil glances. I always gave even my last dollar to any homeless person. My heart bless for them all.
While this country is out caring for other countries watching our homeless, hurting pass them by. Its so sad.
I don’t know how much longer I am going to be there. But when I get to wherever death takes me…I am asking a lot of why’s for us all.
My heart bleeds. This phone corrects words it thinks are a mistake. So please there are a few places that it did that. Another is “I’D BUY A BIG HOUSE FOR YOU ALL TO LIVE”