sorry folks, tried again.having run out of time, with nowhere to go, and no way to exist, the desperation got the better of me.i remember blacking out. came to on floor, looking at the ex-wife. so beautiful. thought she was an angel. then it all came back. just another failure.i really do need to find a peacful way out. i cant take this anymore. their has got to be some peaceful way out?
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yeah there is another peaceful way out x3 talk to me all night cause ive got an annoying fire alarm going off cause some idiot upstairs dont know how to avoid smoking in the room without activating the fire alarm… now im up all night cause the landlord aint in til tomorrow morning :c
I know yesterday you were struggling, I was worried about you, seems I was right to be. Like you, I came here looking for the perfect method, but I’ve come to the conclusion there is no easy way to commit suicide. Oh, how I wish there was, I know I’ll have to get drunk and drown my useless self in a lake, but that ain’t so easy, not ideal. How does someone cope with depression, what is the answer: meds, counselling, being free from loneliness. I’m sitting so alone, a future to be alone in, I see no point, tc13, and yet I hate others who are feeling the same sorts of things, I hate seeing you reach such desperation. For me life has past me by now, wish I was young again, would it be different if I changed one or two events, or has this always been my destiny, is it just my turn now. Why suicide, why do you feel like there’s no point in going on, there must be something to hold onto, please tc13, there must be something.
Please be okay tc13 🙁
nias he emailed me a couple times today. It sounded like he had some help and was going to go talk to someone. He said he might not have comp access for a bit so lets not worry too much if he doesn’t post. I know he has hit rock bottom but he had family with him and wasn’t alone.
dear folks,thank you so much for caring. sorry for causing worry to you. this past episode has caused me to seek deeper help. i am talking to mh today and going to see if i can get into hospital for a bit. im trying to avoid all the drama and hassle of the way we normally end up their. im trying to wait till monday so i can help the ex clear out the apt,and get evrything in storage. plus i enjoy watching football. i know i can get the mandatory 72 hours, and maybe more. its not the ideal solution but at least it will give me someplace to go. i talked to some good folks yesterday who will help. it will be eaisier for me to do this without the ex looking at me. im in shame and embarrasment mode, questoning my decision, but think i will follow through. nowhere else to go and it keeps me out of the elements for a little while longer. dont know if they will be much help, but its better than what ive been doing. (except for sp, yall are awesome). dont know the rules on computers, but will try and get on-line when possable. what can i say, three hots and a cot sound pretty good right now, and they got better drugs than i can get on the streets. so, if my posts get a bit sporadic, dont worry, im just trying to figure out a way to take care of me, thats not something i know how to do, yet. thank you, all of you. your kindness and caring mean much to me and goes with me in this toough time. love to all