I really need a break from university. I don’t want to continue anymore. I don’t want to keep pretending I am academically inclined while I am not. I am really really tired.
My parents think I can still continue to dance after graduation . Unfortunately my injury will not allow me to do so anymore. My frequent trip to school has aggravated my injury.
I tell people I now study in NUS. It is not with pride. It is with deep regret. Outwardly, though I have the student card. Inwardly, I am not one and can never be one. The sad part is that I don’t think that university is that of a big deal anyway.
My project partner expects to work like a top student in class for our project. My heart sank.He is doctor. I told him like a hundredth time that I am not normal. I am autistic. How can I doctor be so dumb to think everyone is the same ? How can he be so dumb not to be understand that there are a lot of stupid people in this world. How can he so dumb to pick a partner like me? It is really series of the dumb and dumber.
Well! That really gave me a wake-up call. There can never Autism in Singapore. If a medical doctor is not able to accept that. I don’t think anyone can. No wonder my parents could not accept me.
I am really tired. I want all this to end. I can’t breathe. I have to leave….
6 comments
I feel your pain.
I finished my uni degree this year. The whole time I felt inadequate and that I was wasting my time, a constant feeling that any action I took would result in failure.
My family have never accepted me either, so to say it was a challenge would be an astronomical understatement.
I still suffer from chronic depression and finishing my uni degree has not brought me the happiness I hoped it would but it is still a victory. I did it alone, no help from anyone what-so-ever.
I think your partner is clueless to your own challenges in life, either you need to put up a solid front and deal with the work load or exploit them to the best of your abilities. I had a jackass in one of my group assignments, he wanted to work 100% all the time, demanding the best output possible, I let him work his ass off while I dell’t with my own issues. Work got done, I pulled enough of my weight and that was that, never like the bloke but then again I have never liked anyone 🙁
I know the prestige of university is a hollow thing to those of us without self confidence so…
Grit your teeth and bear it!
You made it in so now sit your ass down and use whatever means available to raise your morale (gaming, anime, reading, porn, pokemon, George Bush, etc…)
Good luck buddy!
Try hard and let come whatever may come
dear neverland, please allow to respond to your post
ooops, crzazy computer operator
you mention in your post that you are autistic. and you are in a university. thats awesome. most autistics never make it out of high school, much less make it to university. i have worked with many autistic people. my son’s disability is on the autism spectrum. i personally find autistic thinking amazing, fascinating,beautiful, frustrating,interesting. im sorry you got stuck with a stuffed shirt doctor. try to think of his frustration.all those years of schooling, that big , huge debt, all that studying. just to be a low paid insurance hack stuck in an office all day. you have one of those unique, beautiful minds. perhaps you can find another creative endeavor to express youself in the same way as your dance. is their any way to rehab, so you can continue to dance? dont listen to the normal people. those of us (yes,us, heeheehee) who have learning differances have to work harder than they do to understand the things they take for granted. on the other hand, we know things they can never understand.embrace your uniqness. utilize the skills you learned to use to get you this far. we learn diffrently, very diffrently, than other people. but we do learn. please keep us posted. peace to you
Well if they don’t except you they are idiots, In once sense you are lucky to have a good education, but saying that it isn’t always about educating yourself, it’s about having enough common sense, there are ways to make your mind stronger, but it’s up to you,whether you want to make your mind stronger remember your not handicaped your handicable, I have aspegers so I now what it’s like just ignore them and do what you want indepadance is the key, if you think for yourself they can’t use that disablity agaisn’t you, which I expect you do, what I’m trying to say is no one is going to do for you trust I know, anyway best of luck and don’t let those condescending bastards grand you down.
Ah. Singaporeans. I don’t like the education system here. So urgh.
So much responsibilities. So much expectations.
– Singaporean student here