“I’m a burden to everyone” is something I hear a lot, not even just from people who are suicidal or anything close to that.
I think about this a lot and I want to give you guys my perspective on it and why you shouldn’t think your friends and family would be better off if you killed yourself or went away.
Yes, you are a burden to everyone. I am. You are. Your friends are a burden to you. Everyone is a burden. Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what friends are? Nobody is perfect, there will always be differences, there will always be problems between humans. You becoming someone’s friend means accepting their problems, putting up with their shit because you need them, you like them or you just think they’ll bring fulfillment to your life. Friendship isn’t this perfect thing that makes everything better. Not for you and not for them. People make each other’s lives harder because friendship is a trade. It’ll cause you problems but you do it to ultimately be rewarded. To me, the real answer to when a friend tells you that they feel like nothing but a burden isn’t “No, you aren’t.” but rather “Yes, but I don’t care.” If you feel like you are making others’ lives so much harder, take that not as a reason to think you’re terrible, because everyone is difficult. No, it’s the opposite. It means you’re a wonderful person because your friends still want to be your friends even though you are the way you are. They aren’t just blind. They know exactly what they’re getting themselves into by sticking around and do it anyway because they love you and you make them happy.
This is just my perspective on it and I’m open for discussion, but I feel like this is something that really needs to be addressed. I hear this “I am a burden to everyone” thing so often and it’s for a reason: Because there is truth to it. Let me know what you think if you have a different opinion.
6 comments
I find comfort in this and I think their is a lot of truth. But I still struggle with the fact that i am making their lives harder. I feel I shouldn’t because I know how impossible and frustrating depression is. Is it fair to ask them to understand and support, to watch me suffer? Argh i just don’t want to do it to them..
Just the fact that you think about what you’re doing to others (whether it be true or not) makes you better than a good chunk of people I’ve met. I can’t speak for anybody, but I’d rather take a person like that over someone who might make less mistakes but denies being at fault…
Nice post and I completely agree. I also believe the fact that these people believe they are worsening the lives of others and feel guilt over it indicates that they have decency in them and are not the terrible human beings they often view themselves as.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
It’s so true. Just them even just trying to be self-aware about what they do makes them better than at least 30% of the people I’ve met. Just by default. I’d take a person who regularly does a lot of mistakes but realizes them and tries to work on it over a person who only does a mistake every now and then but denies being at fault ANY day.
That’s why I like cats – yeah, it’s annoying to clean the litterbox, but they’ll appreciate it and put up with you occasionally yanking their tails, or pretending you’re giving them treats when really you’re just handing them a penny. Of course, you still have to give them treats or they’ll be mad at you.
I love cats, they’re super cute ;w;