Today has been terrible. I got off work, did a few things, then came home. I sat on my bed, stared at my bottle of pills. I craved to take all of them so bad. Although, I live with my best friend and her parents. I couldn’t do that to them.. Have them come home and see me dead. My parents though.. I wouldn’t give a shit if it hurt them. I would love to stand there after I died and watch them find me. I’m sitting here, watching American Horror Story trying to get it off my mind. I have never been so close to suicide.. I feel like there’s nothing to change my mind. Someday It will happen. I’m getting closer and closer. & know matter how many people tell me its not worth it and its selfish and terrible. It will never change my view. I wish I could be normal, but I don’t think I will ever be okay.
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4 comments
I’m sorry for whatever is causing this. Perhaps it was a rough day at work? If you’d like to talk about what’s going on that upset you, this is a good site for support. Sometimes releasing things can help a bit. I’m glad you didn’t take the pills. That’s not the solution. I think you have more to offer this world than you realize right now. Sometimes it’s difficult to see through the darkness when the storm clouds have rolled in. I’ve been through countless thunderstorms. Don’t lose sight that you’ve made it this far and that storms tend to dissipate.
Thank you so much.
This site is good for discussing problems, fears, depression or whatever else is troubling you in life. I hope you never overdose on those pills that so tempt you, Jetaime_96, but try to find help, suicide is close to all of us on SP, we know the difficulties each of us go through in life, and support each other.
It sounds like you have a great best friend and if her parents care enough about you to allow you to live with them, it sounds as if they are fond of you as well. Yes, family troubles can be hell, but it seems as if you have some very good people around you and that is what’s important. Try to focus on that instead of what sounds like a bad relationship with your parents, which doesn’t matter in the big picture if you are happy with your current home life. Take care.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)