I have pushed away everyone in my life over the last few years; family, friends, significant others…everyone. Why? They don’t understand how I feel inside, how I suffer on a daily basis. They are finding joy in life, so I cast them out and tucked myself away…probably for the best.
Is there such a thing as being to alone? Is there such a thing as a loner finding another loner to be alone with? Does this ever happen? I realize I cannot have a “normal” life with lot’s of family and friends around, but to have just one person, a companion, would make life “normal” for me.
Does anyone else think like this, or am I being ridiculous?
4 comments
I feel very much like that and even though you may have pushed people away I think they just don’t know what to say anymore. I fear people on a daily basis yet some days I have to fight through it to live life. To realize that depression is real and my thoughts are exactly that my thoughts. Keep keeping on.
Doesn’t it annoy you when people chew too loud, or at all when they are around you? If so then your a loner – and that’s me fyi, I wanna slap people who are chewing next to me. I don’t even like to hear myself chew. I am a hermit.
I react, or rather don’t, with anger or indifference to people. Usually the latter if they try physical interaction with me. For that reason, I’ve shut myself off completely with regards to those factors.
Sure, I’ve probably pushed people away. Patience only affords so much time. I lack the ability to even care. Little things about them just… push me over the edge. I cannot stand them.
There are plenty of people in the same position as you. I’m sure you will find what it is that you desire. Though I will not paint the ‘perfect picture’ for you. Any goal is a risk of failure.
Sometimes I too, would just like someone who knows and understands my feelings to talk to me as well, but I know that’s not about to happen, so I have given up on that. I’ll often call people, just to chat, and they don’t pick up the phone, or even really try to call or text me back. It’s a great feeling, I telll you.