Hello, I am new here.. I’m really not too sure if anyone will see this but it is my only shot.
Since I was younger, I haven’t really had any friends. I have always tried to sit next to a group of people, but I have never fit. I seem off hanging with other people. I try to seem not lonely, but it doesn’t work. I have been bullied for 5 years, by people I have never spoken to, i really wish i was intelligent as the other people at my school, but i’m not.
a lot of people talk behind my back, and I’m really not too sure why, I’m okay looking and I can be less shy if I pushed myself to be. people know my name, and i don’t even know theirs.
i am clumsy and i stutter quite a lot
my brother thinks i am a loser, he told me that i always stay inside and read books, i don’t have friends over and that i am fat. he thinks i should lose weight because i am not as skinny as him, he always makes remarks about how i am not as thin or smart, he plays play station all day and misses school, he eats high fattyfoods but still stays thin.
my brother emotionally abuses me
for the past 2 years i have struggled with self harm. i have had many thoughts of suicide but i am too weak to go through with anything
my parents think i am happy and that i have friends who i speak to. my brother who is ill, my parents do not like that and use it against him but i tell them he is a normal person. my parents tell me i am the reason he is ill and they cannot wait until the rest of my family see what horrible person i am and leaves me,
i feel alone although people are everywhere; someone please help me?
12 comments
Hello joles4,
I am feeling really sad reading your post. As you I am new here to. Main reason was to wite my post, but reading yours, I just had to resoponse.
I know what you feel like, a lot of us do. I can give you one advice. Go out, go for a walk. Go to the part, look around. You might find another lonely person, sitting there…reading. I know I was like that when I was teenager. Noone ever aproached me. I was sitting on same bench lots of times, alone, just reading a book. Don’t be like me, don’t wait someone to find you…go out and find a friend, who will understand you.
Thank you for the reply, I hope you feel better soon. I will do that, I will find friends I know it. again thank you for the reply, I appreciate it aha 🙂 x
If you need someone to talk to, feel free to email me at tcmayn391@gmail.com 🙂
Don’t worry, I won’t bite!
I will email you as soon as I get time, thank you for the reply. 🙂
fuck fitting in….only the most boring people do……in fact, if you think about it, anyone who’s ever mattered, in any arena, has never fit in…..winston churchill, bukowski, ghandi, alber camus, t.c. boyle, jim morrison….i could go on, but u get the [point] work on yourself, and be who the fuck you came here to be, however you came to be this way, and i would gamble all of humanity on the fact that the right people who are ment to be in your life, will eventually come…..who knows? maybe there’s one or two of em on here?
Hey!
Read your post a couple times, i seriously must be retarded… I’m not getting something—-
Is your brother sick? Like a disorder or disease? Why do your parents blame you?
From what I understand, your brother is being a bully and your parents think you provoke him…. right?
I can try and help sort this out but let me know if im on the right track, dont want to make things worse :/
i love ur pic btw, seen u round the site n seem like a really good person…..in a world lacking moral fiber, you’re like a cotton field……bad metaphor i know….but u gets mah drift, rite? 😉
aww thank you so much, that is the sweetest thing I have ever heard. you are wonderful, thank you xx
if you ever want anyone to ‘not fit in’ with, i’m cathy arsis on fb, the self proclaimed sinner
of course i have…..LOVE all music……did you get my corny email btw?
resent….hope u like the song too….the mountain goats are one o my favorite bands rite now
Hey,im here for you if you need to talk ive been through the same exact thing as u exept the brother thing just email me at angelhohimer2003@gmail.com