People assume that when you are depressed, you are just sad. But in reality, you just feel empty. Like nothing really matters, because at the time, nothing does. You are just stuck in a haze. Your heart is beating and alive but your soul isn’t and sometimes, you don’t know what to do about. Pain comes before depression, and there still is some left during it. THAT is depression.
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I relate. To the emptiness for sure. About the heart alive and soul isn’t: I have often felt that my body is a living leftover. Here it is, body, still buzzing, hanging on like a machine still going but long after my spirit, my inner life, had fully passed and left. Such conflict to live in that place, aware that the body is still going, absent me. Thanks for writing this. It helped me.