I am terrified of my parents. I don’t know why. They’re good people, I just hate telling them anything. Whenever I get a grade back, I never tell them unless it’s really terrible or unless they haven’t seen a grade in the class in a long time. Like, sometimes I want to show them a grade, good or bad. But I get so much anxiety from just showing them; approaching them and saying ‘hey I got my —– test back’. I get so much anxiety that I wake up during sleep and my stomach gets that nervous feeling. I have no clue why. I just want to be done with high school and never have to deal with this ever again.
– effy stonem
5 comments
My parents feel like strangers to me… It just feels so awkward talking to them.
I felt that way for a while. Sometimes I thought it was because I wanted to feel like I was independent–and that I didn’t need to rely on their feedback to do things. I didn’t want to run to them and report every damn thing in my life. Do you feel like this at all?
It’s more like my sister was perfect and the fact I know they’re comparing the two us in their heads makes me want to puke. After a while I decided to drift from my parents because I felt they already had a perfect child, why would they possibly want to be involved with an imperfect one. Obviously, they don’t say this to my face but I feel it. I just stopped telling them about my school and personal life in all. Wow I feel like shit.
Oh my gosh, I know exactly how you feel. Maybe that’s why I’ve drifted so far away from my parents. Well, mainly it’s my mom. But my older brother and sister are like gold to her, and then I’m just like some crumb on a stove. If I ever do something that my mom doesn’t like, for instance if I forget to lock the front door, she’ll start giving me this speech about how I’m irresponsible and don’t act like an adult, and then she’ll start comparing me to my older siblings and she’ll go on about how they do everything perfectly and I should do what they do. They’re not even that great, to be honest. She only treasures them because they don’t hate her, whereas almost everyone my mom knows dislikes her (she’s a not a very likable person at all, all she ever does is argue and pick everyone apart.)
But anyway, I feel like I will never amount to my siblings, just another thing to add to my depression. My mom is constantly reminding me everyday how I’m not good enough for her. I know her opinion is entirely wrong, but it still hurts. She’s supposed to be my mother, not a bully.
They hope that the choices you make will lead to a happy and secure future. They wish the best, but clash when you start showing signs that ultimately you are them and will probably make the same mistakes or stupid choices.
Sounds like your mum has difficulty expressing her feelings and communicating constructively with you. Remember there are two older siblings that have given her grief and sleepless nights and you’re about to give her more. As the youngest, I would cop what the eldest did. Its natural. Don’t be afraid to confront them or even confide in them. They know you better than anyone. Otherwise, continue your study and your desired path and let them deal with your choices. They may be disappointed, but honestly, they only want the best for you.
When you get older, sit down and get on the piss with them, have a laugh about your teenage years and move on. I found that when my parents could relax and not be concerned with my life, they became a lot more open and laid off of my choices.
Sounds pretty wishy washy, but its true, I didn’t talk to my parents for years until my mid twenties and we put that chapter behind us. We’re not great friends, but we catch up and talk freely. We couldn’t live together and that was clear during high school. I couldn’t even spend the night there.
You should be able to chat with them, but life’s not the Brady bunch. Just do your thing and your ties will strengthen with age.