I have done a lot of thinking lately and I just realized that no one in this god damn world cares and loves me. I mean all I do is bring agony and pain to my family and friends. I keep on making them sad and disappointed because of me. Which has led me to the conclusion that I will commit suicide soon as in really soon. I might use a gun, or jump from a certain height, or even drink poison or something like that. Because right now I give up. I don’t care about my life anymore. Peoples lives would be better without me. And that is a fact.
2 comments
In your last note, you mentioned you were 16. The world is ahead of you. Literally and figuratively. If feeling depressed or your thoughts are making things challenging, reach out for help. Talk to someone even if it’s a crisis line. Once you graduate, your world may very well change significantly. You can choose where to live, what work/school you attend, how you spend your time, etc. Giving up isn’t the answer. Talk to someone. If they don’t listen, talk louder, pick up a phone, or do what you need to do.
When the days are challenging, sometimes we feel isolated and alone. Often, that’s not the case. As long as you give 100%, nobody can ask for more. Keep trying.
You cannot make someone feel a certain way- they are in control of their thoughts and feelings. Families have fights/ arguments. Please know this doesn’t make you wrong or bad. It means you and your family have enmeshed feelings- your attachments to each other are intertwined in such away that you have trouble knowing where your thoughts/feelings end and theirs begins. That is possibly why you feel so bad about all of this, enough to want to escape by death. That makes me sad.
Please don’t hurt you. You are too important. Listen to your hurts, hear what they are saying: that the pain is so great and it is hard to deal with it or even life when you feel this way.
You are seeing this, I think, from your post. Keep talking about it. Hash it out. Find someone- a trusted teacher or a counselor and ask them help in finding someone to talk to you about this. If you feel better about talking with someone about what to talk to someone about- do that.
I can get through this. Post and let us know how you are!