At night is when it gets the hardest I think more I can’t hide my thoughts with distractions. I don’t now how to deal with my pain other then self harm or drinking till I pass out. I want to die most nights because I can see them, I can feel his breath on my ear. I close my eyes tight wondering when it will end. I see blood I feel pain and i wonder why he thought it was ok? I wonder how I can continue to plaster this fake smile I have made up and walk around like I’m ok. I don’t feel human because I hate everyone and everything. I hate myself for not fighting. How do I live passed this pain I feel like a freak of nature. Its harder at night to think of other things no matter how hard I try.
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It is unbearable being scared or afraid or sad or however you are feeling right now. You dont have to be alone at night, maybe some company colud help? Just talk to someone you know. If you dont know who, just give each one a try. Its worth trying.
Well at the present time I just feel very confused, alone, and maybe a bit scared. Most of my friends are cool but I don’t think they want to hear me cry or anything negative. Some of my friends that I talk to about somewhat simple things say get over it. I’m like how many times have I let you talk it out day in to day out? I don’t know it just left me coming here to be able to spill my guts.