People I talk to have said tears before God are prayers that God hears and reaches his heart. If that is true then he feels nothing for me. I’m so sick of being a good Christian girl who is forgotten by God. Seems if when he was making all his children I was just the remaining dust on the floor that he swept and threw away.
They said that when I got sober things would get better , that as long as I did the next right thing God will help me. He won’t though. They say that I’m selfish by thinking of suicide and that it’s the ultimate sin against God but does it really matter to him since he has already forgotten me?
I was told that I have to keep faith in him and that it’s all a part of his plan so why is my suffering such a great thing for my life? How can he say that he loves me as an individual yet let me hurt so much. He is the master so why doesn’t he change things? You can lie and say it’s “free will” but how is it my will that I should suffer???
I’m so hurt to feel like God doesn’t love me anymore and I wonder if he will ever tell me why he stopped caring for me or if he really ever did. Maybe he hates me because of my past, maybe he just threw me to the devil since he doesn’t want me anymore.
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StupidGurl ,
when I see I post like this I should just shut up, I do not believe in god, I have nothing against religion, but if you don’t mind me saying a few things let me give you a different perspective,
you said” They said that when I got sober things would get better” haven’t things gotten better a little in some ways? that is because you did it you are strong! you said “I was told that I have to keep faith in him and that it’s all a part of his plan so why is my suffering such a great thing for my life? ” it’s all up to you, to continue and fight! don’t think some super natural being is going to fix everything, not going to happen, it’s still up to you, you know what you want, go after it! we really are in control of our happiness, you got sober now work on getting happy, the ball is in your park, I was reading today a bunch of Christian’s were killed in a bus crash? why would god let this happen? part of his plan? I think not! that’s life, I actually felt bad not because these good people died but because they died thinking they’d be ok under gods protection, the only one that can protect you is yourself, be kind to others and do your best keep fighting for what you deserve a good life, you have to struggle to get what you want, the more you struggle the more you get, now don’t depend on some god to make things better it’s all up to you! keep on your path, and things most likely will get better, you are in control! of everything! except mother nature, that’s something we have no control over, stay strong, follow your dreams and you will reap what you soe, sincerely rocket man
I’m not a Christian, but I’ve always been interested in it from a philosophical viewpoint. Christianity seems to be one of the few religions that focus more on service (being a servant of God) rather than enlightenment (leaving the world to find God), and I like that attitude. That’s why Christianity is full of people like Mother Teresa and volunteers in Haiti, etc, while other religions have wise men running off to mountain tops and washing their hands of humanity. …Trust me, this is going somewhere relevant to you, SG!
So the question is, why doesn’t God help you? I personally think it’s because God can’t. God is sleeping, dead, trapped under something heavy, or busy on another planet stopping intergalactic warfare.
So where does that leave you? Sh outta luck. But that’s where the beauty of this “service” thing comes in. When you dedicate yourself to a cause bigger than yourself as Christianity teaches, suddenly your own problems seem a little smaller. Just a little. But every bit helps. And to me that’s the value of the Christian philosophy… not that you get any direct help from God, but by being an active participant in a bigger plan–like a soldier on a battlefield–you’re better equipped to cope with getting your leg blown off in a minefield.
I dunno if any of that makes any sense. And like I said, I’m closer to atheism than any sort of religion. But I do see the value in faith. And I think that’s what will pull you through, if anything.
I know how it feels.. you’re praying hard and whole heartly still nothing has change. I believe in God even though I, myself was experiencing things that I don’t really deserve hoping that someday this feeling of pain and loneliness will be paid off by something we did not expect
neverbeenhappy,
Sorry I’m focusing on you, I don’t like it when your sad, I hope things change for you, they will change, you yourself are your best family, haha! get a couple cats I have three! I spoil them rotten and they love me to no end, I rescued them from certain death, I wish I could rescue more, but 3 is enough! the little fuckers won’t leave me alone! all over me! they are my babies they are my family, and I am there daddy, I’m doing what I wished someone would do for me, and it’s 100x better. that’s one reason why I have to stick around.
You are not selfish for thinking of suicide – you are human. Let’s face it: the world is one giant shit ball with a few flowers sticking out. I was once a believer but am no longer. My faith brought more pain than it alleviated. When bad stuff happened, I always had to wonder if my sin was the cause or if God was angry at me just ‘cuz. I would never tell you to abandon your faith if on the whole it brings you more comfort than not. If God does exist, I doubt very much he hates you. From what I understand of Christianity, He loves you so much He sent His one and only Son to die for your sins. That story has long struck me as the most perfect expression of true love ever (on the part of Jesus that is. God the father would be in prison and possibly awaiting the death penalty were he a human parent). As for me, I quite literally went insane trying to reconcile this world with a loving, supernatural creator-commander somehow arranging all things to suit his Divine Will (yet while allowing for us to have free will).
Losing my faith was traumatic and made me suicidal. I still get the thoughts sometimes but they pass. Please don’t kill yourself and stop thinking God hates you. No matter what that can’t be true. If you still believe or need to believe that God is real, a thought that might console you is that even if you suffer for the rest of your life, your suffering is still finite and something much better awaits on the other side. I think it’s worth it to keep on going – the most beautiful and happy people I know are always people who have endured great suffering and lived to tell that tale. I met a woman this week who was raised by a psychopath, started hard drugs around puberty, was on the streets most of her life, was a heroin addict for 20 years, a methadone addict for 10 and then an alcoholic until she was 57. She has now been sober 3 years and is about to go to New York for the first time in her life. She is happy.
Maybe God is allowing you to suffer so that when it ends, you will have a brand new appreciation for all that is good about this life. People who are spoiled do not develop the same kind of compassion, gratitude and capacity for joy that those who have suffered acutely do.
If you stay sober, it will get better. But who says when? Just hang on. Suicide is a fucking awful thing.
P.S. You don’t strike me as stupid. Maybe you should change your self-talk and your username.
I USED TO BE A PREACHER AND GOD DOESNT GIVE A FUCK!!!
Many of the questions that you raised, I asked as well when I was a teen, born into a Christian home, brainwashed to be a part of that death cult. When I began to use reason and study science/philosophy and realized that all the promises Christianity makes are fake, that praying doesn’t work, that in fact there really was never a god there in the first place, then many of your questions will be answered-it’s why I’m an atheist now.
I am sincerely sorry for the problems that you’re going through-whatever they may be, but I think the best thing to do is to try to understand each one and see what you can do to resolve it. As the saying goes “two hands working can achieve far more than a thousand hands clasped in prayer.” Best of luck to you.
In my religion of Zoroastrianism Goodness is personified as God and God’s name is ‘Wise Lord’ / ‘Best Lord’. And if you are a good person God becomes your friend and alongside him you fight all your life in defeating all that is evil in order to create heaven on Earth / the ideal world. The original Abrahamic religion was founded by us, and Jesus Christ was predicted by us.
Zoroastrianism is cool! (From an appropriate distance.)
I can’t believe I’m in a 2015 thread. I saw all the names… THE NAMES of people I loved and hated, now gone, eaten up, underground, excised, exiled, and ghosted.