Mum asked me today if I have any plans for next week.
No mum, nothing much.
Yes mum, I’m going to kill myself if you give me half a chance.
I want to comfort her in advance but she’d stop me.
I have to do this for myself…
Or die trying.
That’s the idea anyway.
4 comments
Yeah, I do the exact same thing, or I did. Haha? I was around 2 years ago I tried overdosing on over the counter medication and felt bad afterward, yet a really nice relief that I’ll probably sleep and never awake. Sound great, right? Yeah. So the worst part basically is that I knew I was going to die and I was afraid, so I slept with my mom that night, cried next to her because I thought I was dying and as soon as I fell alseep I’d be gone. But, things didn’t work out. I’m here, i’m alive, not doing great, but trying. Anyway, sorry for that little tale. I just remembered it while reading. If you happen to try… Hide away from someone close that could find you, please.
What would marsh do matt? Ask yourself. He’d play chewie — and everybody else one more time. Give it another go.
It’s crazy how you could be days, hours away from death and nobody around you has a freakin clue. Here’s an idea I’m sure you’ve tried already but in case you haven’t… maybe you should give her the chance to help you. I don’t mean telling her you’re going to kill yourself, but maybe just spend an afternoon with her and let her know that you’re in really really bad shape. Don’t mention the sui word or she’ll flip her lid, but maybe she can help in a real way?
Totally understand.