I don’t know what I’m doing with my life….I don’t know anything actually. I spend every minute of everyday trying to make others feel so happy about themselves and cheer them up when really I’m the one that’s needs cheering up…
I guess it all started when I was in 8th grade, and yes, I know that that is a young age to start getting depressed, but that’s what I was…no adult could understand, you all are probably thinking, “you’re so young, you have so much to live for,” or something along the lines of that, but truth is, you don’t understand…there are so many young kids out there who are so upset and you adults usually just tell them that their attention seekers or something and turn the blind eye, sometimes you don’t, but most of the time you do, and there are a ton of children suffering from it
In 8th grade I got bullied…I never got bullied before so I didn’t really know how to handle it… It started out when I was dating this guy, after six months, he told the school that we had sex, i was the goody two shoes of the grade so everyone flipped out even though it was not true so I broke up with him, after that, more rumors were spread about me, for example: me being a lesbian, backstabbing my best friend, that I was insane and had to get therapy….all of these were false, but everyone believed them and eventually, so did my “best friends” more and more rumors spread and I went from one of the most popular girls in my school to a loser….
I know that what I just wrote sounds pathetic…I know people have it worse than me, but there’s more to the story
After 8th grade, when I got into high school, everything seemed to be going well, I made varsity cheerleader, got straight A’s, developed a new group of friends…. Well, do any of you guys know what “yik yak” is? Well, it ruined my high school career….there was a single blast about me on there and within just a matter of minutes 50 comments popped up bashing on me….it’s all anonymous and my school has about 300 kids in the whole high school, everybody knows everybody and they all turned on me, then a couple days later, another blast went on and there were about 60 comments… All saying that I was a slut and all these awful things…truth is, I haven’t even had my first kiss yet… I guess the worst part about it is that I don’t know who said those things about me, someone who I might actually care about could be the fake backstabbing teenager that destroyed me… Again, all my friends turned on me, besides one
He was my best friend, he was always at my side, and I loved him….I lead him on though, by mistake, he fell in love with me and I thought I did the same with him…but I hurt him, really badly, it wasn’t exactly my fault, but he told me that we shouldn’t talk to each other in a while, when I needed him most, he wasn’t there, he wouldn’t even make eye contact with me… But I guess I deserved it, I broke his heart, but I had nobody, and I still have nobody…
My mother thinks I’m an attention whore and a drama queen, I’ve never told her about how I feel about life because if I did, she would think I was lying and I remember her saying when I was younger that she doesn’t think anyone’s life could be so bad that they would want to kill themselves…my sister, she’s everything in my life, she’s older though, one time, I tried to tell her how I felt, I told her about this condition called S.A.D. Because I thought that maybe I had that instead of depression because I seem to get really depressed during the winter time, but I later found out that I’m depressed all the time, anyways I was telling her about it and she said, you might have it but it doesn’t compare to the real thing and you will never know what that feels like” she made comment s like that with out evening knowing she was, those words though, really hurt me and made me realize that I have nobody, I’m so alone
I don’t even know what this life is about…I spent my whole life growing up as a Christian but I don’t even know if I really believe in God… And I feel awful about it because I feel like I should believe but i don’t know and it’s killing me not to know
I honestly don’t know anything. I tried to kill myself last year but backed out, there are worse things in my life but I didn’t know how to put them in words…and I know other people have it a lot worse so I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to do, I have nobody, I feel like a nobody, and I really just want to disappear from it all…
11 comments
If you have nobody, then the first step to fixing that works be to get somebody. Talk to someone, someone who will listen and not judge you. Heck, talk to me. I’m available to listen most hours of the day no charge.
Yes. Every day.
i am a nobody too.. i have not much money.. no friends… no gf… no parents and i am only 19…
i used too change my way of thinking, like – there are no humans other than me… everyone besides me is an illussion…. it worked for few months but now it doesnt…. the feeling of lonliness and starvation is destroying me but i am helpless and cant do anything about it.. after all i am the dumbest human in history… sorry i wasnt of much help to you… sll i can say is you are not alone there are many people like you who are feeling the same way….
I’ve gone from having an awesome life to nothing and it burns me up I’m 31 and living with my mum. No gf no friends nothing and its tough but what’s even tougher is the thought of suicide it consumes me like the devil and I can only see a big black hole and hope on the other side maybe heaven. Anyways that’s all
Who doesn’t have to face this feeling at some point in their lives? No one’s a somebody in reality unless everybody is. Here at least we can all be nobodies – or somebodies – together.
i hate these anonymous websites or apps like yik yak or ask.fm or any other.
Bullies engage in more aggressive acts when they use fake aliases or post on anonymous websites like ask.fm because the risk of retaliation is significantly smaller.
governments of their respective countries should had banned these anomymous apps/websites but they are careless. all country governments only takes actions on those subjects which the mass media shows to people.
All these anonymous apps/websites have an option to report of any abusive post but that options remains useless as most of the time nothing happens
sp is also a anonymous website but i have always observed that the abusive things here are taken down in under 15 minutes
You’re not alone, you’ve got all of us on this site that are here for you. People suck though, a lot. I know some people care about what others think, I’m lucky in that I’ve never cared what anyone else thinks. You said a few times that people have it worse than you…just stop, you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. The fact is that you are suffering right now, if anyone says you aren’t allowed to be because [insert reason], they’re an idiot. It’s all just the chemicals in the brain. Some people can have what is socially accepted as trauma and be fine, while other people with a severe mental illness can have something awesome happen and break down anyway. Don’t worry about what some jerk has to say, you’re worth more than a hundred of them. I don’t believe in a loving or caring God, but on the off chance I’m wrong, I’ll pray for you and hope someone’s listening.
Also, I’m twenty one and still haven’t even had my first kiss yet, so you aren’t alone in that regard either (hurray for being behind the curve)
Anyway, I honestly hope you get past this and I’m here if you ever need to talk or rant or anything.
Thank you so much, I never thought this site would actually be able to help me, but I realized now that it really does, it made me see that even if I don’t have somebody in my life right now, I do have you guys. And you, you made me feel a whole lot better than I’ve felt in a real long time, your comment really got to me and it’s good knowing that people like you care, so thank you
No thanks necessary, ma’am.
*tips hat and rides of into the sunset on a walrus, flopping majestically in the wind.
To everyone who replied to my story, thank you so much, I’ve realized now that I may not have many people in my life but I do have all of you guys…I never thought this site would actually help me when decided to write a post, but it really did! All of you really cheered me up and made me stronger just by what you had to say, and none of you even know me. That means so much to me and probably to thousands of others posting on this site, so thank you