Clockwork catastrophe

Waves crash down and drowned me sleeping

eyes wide shut, my hearts still beating

sounds that drowned out all the noise

playing with hearts like old worn toys

my fingers twitch in the holes of my jeans

i at one point wanted to dress pristine

i couldn’t get a job that pays the bills

i gamble away money just for some thrills

maybe i could win it back and more

but i leave the table still being poor

life and games there both about chance

you win or you loose its a hellish dance

a symphony comprising of your demons

pain and pain stitched together seamless

i tried to take a train out of town

but i fell a sleep and the train came back around

landing on the path to which you once began

its a said reality that’s ripped from your hand

promises and hearts there meant to be broken

the gun in your hand, the barrels still smoking

ditch the car along side the road,

walk upon the path that has little hope

when did life become a fight

these dreams you have keep me awake at night

taking comfort in a strangers warm body

maybe they love me, lying to myself its a hobby

and endless cycle perpetrated by fate

the life i have and the life i want don’t correlate

i try to mitigate the pain that never stops

but it always comes back like the hands on a clock

the lines i mark on a piece of paper

are never full removed by the little pink eraser

like the scars you inflicted upon my soul

will never be removed by your word alone

i feel my feet moving upon the pavement

but i never make it anywhere to my own amazement

it always feels like there’s someone after me

caught in the perpetual cycle of the clockwork catastrophe