yup. one last one.
I told myself all those years ago that you hated me and that people should hate me because im just a monster that shouldnt be here. i told myself that alot. still do. im a monster, Alice. its best that i died with that in mind. thinking that i had destroied your life in some way that isnt repairable. i gave the painting to a friend. she will watch it. even if im 6 feet under, she will have it. dont worry you wont see that again. it will just serve as a reminder that i lost.
if fate plays my hand, then i wont be that same person anymore. not the same teddy bear that you will remember. i wont remember any of this. or you. or any of the trouble but ill still bear the weight. you will see it in my- his eyes. he wont remember anything.
i know this all sounds crazy but im not at all who i am anymore. ive been corrupted so i must delete myself from this world. if you find me, run and hug me and ill remember. if not….dont blame yourself.
i wont die but it will feel like dying..
its my fault you disappeared.
goodbye Fun-sized. i love you