I’m Trying

Last night I tried to finish off my life. I’ve always thought about it and the other day I finally made a plan. I left my place and started walking. I began cutting pretty much right away and as I turned down a dark alley is when I took the first Vicodin. I felt it and didn’t like the feeling. I continued walking and cutting and I just started panicking . I finally broke and called my friend. She was going to let me go and I wasn’t going to let that happen. I managed to drag myself back to meet up with them. They cleaned me up and she threw out all of the Vicodin. I’m so mad but I couldn’t get it back. I was so out. I don’t want to do it again, but at the same time I do. I found naproxen and I still have the meds that I take now. I don’t know what I should do. Part of me wants to try again, but part of me doesn’t.