I think most of us here have a lot in common. Details might be different from situation to situation, but at the core there are a lot of similarities.
Some here have a reason to live, and I think that is great. Some, like me, don’t. And that sucks.
But, for most of us in that second group, we have another thing in common. There is that one thing that could change that.
For me that one thing is quite simple. If only if she would just be my friend again. Not asking for anything more than that. Just friendship.
Even if the possibility of getting back together wouldn’t be an option. Even if it had to be a secret. Even if it was communicating just once a week. I would gladly take it. Beggers can’t be choosers.
Maybe even if one of the kids wanted to communicate. That would certainly be enough for me. Any connection with them would be enough.
Sure, the pain and despair would still be there. But I would have a reason to live again. I would have my will to live back intact.
And that would be enough to fend off my suicidal thoughts. Because without that, it’s just a matter of time before I succeed.
3 comments
You want to kill yourself because somebody has decided that they no longer want to communicate with you?
Some people say that you should never get so attached to something that you’d be unable to go on if you lost it. They also say that what begins eventually ends (including relationships). I don’t know why you would give somebody the authority to decide whether you live or die based on how they feel about you.
I went through a similar thought process when my ex decided he wanted nothing more to do with me. At first I needed his love, then I needed his friendship… When he gave me nothing, no communication whatsoever… I was forced to stop needing him. A part of my soul died for sure, but a part of it still remains. I am not dead yet.
I went through something very similar to this 2 years ago. I went from being in a loving relationship for 3 years and just dumped on the side of the road. I just wanted friendship or anything at that. He left me to rot. I was depressed and upset. Thought I was wothless and had no meaning in life. I used guys to try to feel better. But, now 2 years later I can say I am better. I am the strongest person of my friends when back then I was the weakest. You can pull through. Just know that there are other and much better fish in the sea.