It never ends

It feels like a lump, a big lump of nothing and everything stuck in my throat. Every moment I am at work I crave to be away. I studied and worked hard in the past and saw myself earning 2 degrees, however through some cosmic fuck up I’m here. I sit and hope and pray and beg for some relief from this madness. Every morning I wake up and force myself out of bed, I cry thinking of what the day will be like. I used to be so passionate about so many things but now all I see myself doing is earning a pay check to survive and not to have huge gap in my CV. No job has made me feel like taking my life but I just crave sweet relief. My mood is affecting my work which my boss has brought up with me and has me worrying about being fired. I keep applying for jobs but never get a call back. I fear my life is in a state of limbo and I beg for either one to end.