My obnoxious buck-toothed dumbfuck brothers outed me to my conservative mom. I’m a transguy. I’m still figuring out myself, and I certainly wasn’t ready to tell anyone else. Plus my mom’s in a difficult situation herself – she’s depressed, anorexic, going through a divorce, etc. So it’s really ridiculous to burden her with my situation.
She told me I was an attention-seeker who needed to pray. I told her – and tried to be firm – that I felt confident and happy, dressed as a guy. She responded that it was a false sense of confidence instilled by the devil. According to her, no one in the family believes it…everyone thinks I’m ridiculous and tacky and a royal asshole. At this point I couldn’t help it. My eyes get all weepy when I’m angry and hurt.
The next day, we went to church with my aunt and uncle. My uncle hadn’t seen me with a haircut before – kept silent, just glared at me a couple times. Made me feel nauseous inside. We used to talk a lot. I thought he was cool and funny. Anyway, the situation got even worse when the pastor introduced himself and addressed me along with my brothers as “gentlemen.” The table just got quiet. You could tell that everyone was just stewing.
I don’t have to deal with this shit all the time – I’m living with my dad, who’s accepting, thank God. It’s just…this weekend was depressing and uncomfortable and awkward and…it really set me back.
5 comments
In the end you just have to be who you are. Props to you for having the courage to stand up for yourself… Even if you were outed prematurely. Keep on keeping on friend. Good luck to you in your future endeavors.
Wait a minute.
The Devil instills a false sense of confidence in people? I didn’t know he was responsible for doing that. I thought that was God’s job.
I’m not sure how that works either. If it’s a positive thing that my family doesn’t agree with, then it’s the devil baiting you with cotton candy.
God only does it when my mother and grandmother agree with His decision. Otherwise it’s the boogey-man’s fault.
Got it.
So your mother and grandmother are experts at determining what God wants, but if your family disagrees with how you interpret God’s plan in your life it’s because Satan’s forces of evil have influenced you. That makes perfect sense. If you agree with them you’re right, if you disagree with them you’re wrong.
“If religious people could be reasoned with there wouldn’t be any religious people”.
It’s like your mom thinks it’s easy for you to be who you are. At least that’s how I read her saying you are an attention seeker, false confidence or the devil bit. People often attack what they can’t understand. Keep that in mind when she says mean things. Maybe she just can’t understand. Unfortunately no argument, or logic will change her mind overnight. It’s a process, there are a lot of good resources out there that can help.
Kudos to you for being true to yourself. In the end, I think that is what matters most. I find you to be brave and strong.
Sorry there seem to be so many ignorant pricks in the world.