General I feel like stabbing my heart by MySelfIsAfterMe 5/28/2015 written by MySelfIsAfterMe 5/28/2015 I want to take a dagger and stab my heart so bad, because: My heart hurts more than I can take It’s all my fault, I deserve it My life is over bad 4 comments 0 Email Related posts I survived, but… 9/19/2021 Random question of the day 9/19/2021 Bullied by Boss 9/18/2021 Do i deserve less respect? 9/18/2021 Microdosing 9/18/2021 Calling All Mad Scientists 9/17/2021 Kiss of Burning Ash 9/17/2021 too much and never enough 9/17/2021 Can’t Go On Anymore 9/17/2021 Note from several years ago, still feels relevant 9/16/2021 4 comments Tina571 5/28/2015 - 1:21 pm An attempt at stabbing your heart by your own hand surely wouldn’t work, there is just too much bone and cartilage covering it.. Plus, It would really hurt. Your life isn’t over, young one, it is just beginning. Go out, see the world. dream of your future and one day, the dream will become a reality. We’ve been granted a difficult, challenging, yet beautiful world to live in, and you should be living it! You need air, your head is hurting. Try to do meditation. It sounds stupid, I know, but it really does work. Focus on trying to make your brain be quiet, and eventually, it will train itself to do so. Nothing is your fault. You can’t put blame on yourself. Log in to Reply MySelfIsAfterMe 5/28/2015 - 1:58 pm Hi Tina, I wouldn’t stab my heart for real because I’m aware of the trouble, plus my survival instinct wouldn’t allow my arms to release the strength I’d need. It’s like I feel a certain urge to do so though. I had my dreams realized, but I was stupid enough to screw it all with my own hands. The world was by my side, I was against me apparently. I can tell you with a high degree of confidence that is my fault. And it’s killing me. I know it might sound stupid, but I feel there’s nothing I can do. Everything I can build now it will never be like what I’ve build till now (and then screwed) and every gift I would receive from life could never be as the one I threw away. I’m dead inside. I was alive and successful, now I’m just empty and disappointed. Log in to Reply Terrible 5/28/2015 - 2:06 pm You have my sympathy, kind friend. I wish for you to get better. Log in to Reply violet5 5/28/2015 - 3:32 pm @MySelfIsAfterMe, you sound like me two and a half years ago. Are you by any chance a perfectionist? Often when we have high goals that aren’t met we blame ourselves. If you work on it, you can build up your dreams again. They may have to change a bit if you had age related deadlines for yourself, but you can still reach for your dreams. It may be a good idea to work on taking care of yourself for a little while, and get your energy restored. That pain in your heart can lessen or even go away, but it takes time, and work. Believe me though, it’s worth the work. And it will hurt for a while, but if you keep at it you will feel the results. (I can only give advice based on what I tried to do to get myself out of that pain, and emptiness) You have great worth, and you need to see it. That will help with the empty feeling, do something you see as worth while. Take on a responsibility, even if it is small like volunteering to walk dogs at your local animal shelter. Do it every week, and if you force yourself to make it through several months celebrate with others who do the same volunteer work. (again this is just an idea, you may find better ideas form someone else) It is a challenge, but you can climb that mountain one step at a time. no matter the blisters. Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.Subscribe to comments: Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.