Haven’t posted anything in a few days. I just don’t even know how I feel right now. I’m so tired. Yesterday I went to the beach with my family and some friends. Today I went to the pool.
I know, it sounds like I do enjoy every minute of my life. I admit, although I hate my life, there are times when I have some fun.
But even when I was having fun this weekend, I still kept thinking about how those people would remember me after I killed myself.
3 comments
I know the feeling. Pretty shit, huh? It’s basically reverse roles. The happy people have shit days, the depressed have happy. Both are occasional, but both occur. Wouldn’t you want to trade? I would. I would swap out every single good day for a bad one, if I could swap every bad one for a good, because that would mean a shit ton of good days. Sadly, that’s not the way life works, and we need to get over things ourselves. Those people would remember you. They would remember you in memories. They would remember you in books, movies, stores, songs, maybe even the rustle of trees. And they would miss you. You need to stay strong and just hold on. Seek help. And hugs. Hugs are help. I believe in you, so fucking much. Get out there and get ’em.
xx Ara
I know that feeling. Having a little bit of fun and wanting to die are two separate things. Why not have a little bit of fun while still here?
Invite me to go at the beach with you next time ;/