But the username misssk88 was one of my best friends. I never got to tell her but I really did care about her… Fuck it, I loved her. I never got to tell her, might as well write it here. Anyway, she left most of her stuff to me in her actual suicide letter, which I may post here, but I still just feel really fucking weird about everything. I saw she frequented this site and for a second I got a sick feeling like maybe people on this site told her to do what she ended up doing… like some sort of weird site that bullies you into killing yourself. Well, I found something quite different. It seems like for the most part, you guys were nice and supportive. I’m sorry to have to tell you like this, so informal. Not sure how else you would find out, though. Also, and I’m not one to preach, but, I did notice before she passed she was heavy into dark and disturbing subjects, movies, music, etc, you name it…. and while this site isn’t the reincarnation of evil and some of you can be very helpful, I noticed it’s still dark and well, depressing as fuck. If you’re already down, why keep digging deeper into more depressing things? I just feel like maybe if she put her energy and attention into more positive things she’d still be here. This is my hell. This is my denial. I probably just made myself sound ignorant. I apologize. I just miss her so much. I’m so confused and hurt.. I can’t really articulate it further than that. I just wish I could have saved her and hopefully something in this post will save someone else. I know I can’t stop every single suicide, but at least maybe I can stop a few… but the real Kara wasn’t this depressed, morose, cynical, jaded, morbid “dead inside” girl. Before everything got so fucked up, she was so full of life. Her laugh was contagious and bordering on obnoxious. Sorry, darling, it’s true. She was one of the most loyal friends I had and I feel like a fool for not noticing how serious her situation was… how far her addiction had gotten out of hand.
I’m sorry I failed you.