So at work yesterday just before I left for my other job, my mom tries to reach me after not speaking for over a year since her mom (my grandmother) passed away. Ultimately she said she had been afraid to tell me sooner, was sorry for her mistakes, and doesn’t believe anymore that I stole anything. Her husband (not my dad btw) passed away suddenly last fall and her last dog has been sick for a year and will be put down today. I feel bad for her and she feels bad for what I’ve been through too. I also braved it and asked the guy I like if he hates me. Still think he might like to ignore the fact that I like him, but he doesn’t hate me. He may be chasing girls but I think I may be the only constant in his life and the only one that would be there for him if shit went down. I wish he’d see that and count my loyalty for something someday. Why does it all have to be so hard?
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I let another person control my life while I waited patiently for my loyalty and love to be returned. It just doesn’t work that way and the reality of it all is you deserve the love and respect that now you can only hope for. No matter how “right” someone seems to be for us, they aren’t if they don’t care for us or love us on their own. I wish I had the answer but I don’t. I can only sense your pain – and I can hope you find what you truly need and truly deserve. It shouldn’t be hard.
– peace
I can’t control who gets ahold of my heart. It’s only happened twice. I’d take either one of those men in a heartbeat.