A couple days ago, my sister found out that I cut. I confronted yahoo answers for it and I got a negative reply. They told me that I cut because I was only seeking attention. They said my “selfishness” was hurting everyone around me. I never meant for anyone around me to find out. I am cutting to cope with my feelings (its bad I know) but it was NOT for attention. I feel so much guilt when I look at my sister now. I feel so bad that she found out that I cut. I have desperatly been searching for a better alternative. I claw at my skin just so I dont cut. It works but I end up in tears from all the guilt. I have been thinking of suicide more and more now. I try to imagine what it would be like. How would people react. I have been feeling so sad all the damn time. 24/7. I cant tell any of my friends my problems because I dont want to seem selfish. Its killing me inside. I cant go to anyone. I dont want to hurt them with the truth. I dont want to feel any guilt about telling them. Im crying and I cant get help. I dont want people to hate me because of this. Ive already lost the friends that I told my problems to. I dont want to lose any more.
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Gawd if I could wipe out 1 chunk of the internet forever it would be Yahoo Answers. don’t pay them any attention, Hi. Cutting is not selfish, no more selfish than it is to be depressed.
It would be great if you could find a way to stop right away, but if you’re having trouble thats ok. I think it’s really crappy of anyone to make you feel worse about it.
Maybe it would help if you think about depression/cutting like any other disease. It’s not your fault that you got stuck with those urges. But if you work hard I know you can overcome it. There’s a great forum called Bodies Under Siege that’s dedicated to Self Harm. Check it out, there are some really great people there with tons of good coping tips.
Scratching yourself is better than cutting. But have you tried something completely non-destructive instead? Something to occupy your hands & brain? When I start to lose it, I sort pennies. I’ve sorted over 10,000 pennies in chronological order lol. Well it beats what I would’ve been doing to myself otherwise :/
Thanks for your reply. Thats a really interesting method, ive never heard of anyone doing that. Haha ill try it out
Even if you did it for attention, don’t we all crave attention, we are social animals by the way, most of us anyhow need human attention and contact to be happy, and for those people on yahoo, they don’t understand what the depressed go through, screw them. But as for your friends, if they left you because you sought help from them, then they never were and never will be any good to you. Just empty weight. You need help, you need someone who you truly trust to talk to and for them to help you find a way out that vicious black hole that your in now. I used to cut, I still have the scars, and they will always remind me of the pain I dealt with growing up. So I understand why you do it, and I won’t tell you to stop. Just be patient and realize, that there is hope, happiness, light out there somewhere. Don’t let this dark time in your life change who you are as a person. There is happiness in your future, there is hope, and I know that you will find it. Good luck to you. Take care now.
Oh and sorry if it sounds like I’m preaching *_* lol. I’m a little wierd.
Fuck man, find something else. You DO NOT want to live with the scars. Mine are unconcealable. You do not want that. Take that pain and put it somewhere else. Anywhere. Paint. scream. lose yourself in music. just don’t cut.
If i live to be 90 years old i will still bear these scars. You DO NOT want that. It will only make things harder. I know it gives you release now, but down the road it will only make things harder.
You can never erase scars. once they’re there, they’re there.
I stopped cutting for about 10 years, and yeah – I’ve got serious scars on both wrists. When my doctor asked me why I cut – I told her, that I felt so depressed that, I wanted to feel physical pain to know the difference. That answer kept me out of the psych hospital. Had I said I wanted to kill myself, that would have been a different story.
Cutting is a coping mechanism, albeit an unhealthy way to deal. I don’t have an answer for you- I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and that I hurt inside too. We just have to find a better way to deal with our torment.