I can barely name these bizarre emotions I get. You could call it numbness mixed with lifted awareness. Like I’m not really here, but somewhere else. It happens to me quite often, these “detachments”. When these occur, my memory tend to get worse. I can’t remember what happened when, and I get confused easily.
I feel like I’m riding this crazy train of thoughts that will eventually take me to hell. Oh I think about many different things, not all are bad, but I get lost in the montage of feelings. I know how to make this stop. Sleeping usually does the trick. But temporary stopping this won’t solve my problem. I want to know what is this thing. Could this be some kind of a spiritual experience? Awakening? Can this be caused just by depression? Does anybody else experience this?
5 comments
That sounds like hyper manic bipolar disorder. I’m the same way. I find it helps to write things down. That way you can at least track reality even when it’s not so concrete.
i’ve seen hyper manic people. that’s not like that. all i have is plain depression, not mania.
The same thing happens to me. I know the manic thing and it’s not quite that. Kind of dissociations, I can’t really remember who said what, when stuff happened and if it was real. This is rare for me now. However, I had a spell, I was 22, and I fuckin snapped. I thought I would be saying things, having conversations, but in reality I said nothing, for two weeks. I found out my mother had cancer (my mother is pretty much it family wise) and didn’t tell my bf at the time, I didn’t go see her or help her in any way. I forgot to go to work, put on clothes, eat, pee…
A friend gave me either an ambien or soma, and that brought me back. I thought nobody noticed, but they just were scared to pit me somewhere. This is the first time I’ve tried to describe it in years, and I can’t remember the complete severity of it, so time does heal the wounds, blahblah ugh
There I go talking about me. I think it’s just too much sometimes. So Death Bunny, wtf is wrong with these weird ass people, who lose their grip on reality, eh?
For myself I have moments of lucid understanding and clarity (usually when I’m up) followed by days of dissociation (often depressed too but but always). Sometimes it’s related to what I’m consuming and how much I sleep, sometimes it’s just for no reason. Regardless journaling helps me. Even if you’re not manic or depressed maybe journaling will help you too.
I have untreated bipolar disorder (manic depression)
I love the ups.. although they can be scary cause there is always the lows.. but i cant even explain how low I get.
Two different people